Ok guys, I've been standing on my soapbox for a while now and my feet hurt so I'm gonna take a little break. But what will be do in the meantime? Well, I was thinking, and since its spring time, maybe I can give a few cleaning tips. When I clean my apartment, I usually always do it when no one's home because I have a system and people just get in the way (or do it wrong!). So if you hang out, you can be here one minute in a whirl wind of mess from my 6 year old, then come back in a few hours and it's like elves came in and made it all better. So, wanna know my secrets? Sure ya do.
First things first. You can just make yourself get up and clean, but that sucks. Everyone has that little burst of energy (almost manic) every day or every few days. If you don't jump on the train when it starts, you'll miss it and have to wait for it to come around again, otherwise you'll be doing the dreaded "making yourself do something you don't wanna do" dance. Nobody wants that!
Also, for me, I can look at a sink full of dishes and a messy living room and will just suck the energy out of me before I start (even with the magic energy that blows through). I never sit and look around to take inventory of what needs to be done over the course of a few hours. It sounds like a bad idea, but if you just walk over to a table and pick up a soda can/empty glass/junk mail and put it where it goes, that can be the jumping point to getting everything done. Then, in the midst of cleaning, you can survey your surroundings.
I can't clean without music, well, I can, but I'm not gonna! Just like people working out, I can make a playlist that makes you wanna jump outta your skin and do something. Granted, when I was 16, I never thought that I would be sweeping the floor to the lyrics "Burn motherf*cker, burn", but life is funny that way, and it gives me the extra edge I need to keep going. Make a playlist of either upbeat or hardcore music (or both) and play it while you run around the house.
Here come the numbered tips!
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The "every room except the bathroom and kitchen" tips
1. Start High. NOT THAT KIND OF HIGH, put that down! I mean, start with your tables, on top of the tv, or the headboard of your bed/dressers. If you sweep your floor, then wipe your table, even if you wipe it into your hand, you will just be causing yourself more work, or an unsatisfactory job. So, the bigger the job, the higher your start.
2. Everything's place. Have you ever been cleaning, and you don't know where to put something? By the time you get done, its clean, but still cluttered. What a bummer, right? What I do is take those things and put them on the couch. After I'm done, the couch is a mountain of junk, but then I can solely focus on where each and everything on it will go. Also, I'm usually tired by then, so its nice to sit down and go through it.
3. Your Arsenal. There's nothing like climbing under a table/bed/in the closet, and then realizing you need the spray cleaner/pledge/dustpan, only to have to climb back out and search it down. My solution to this one is, before I mop (which is last), I take the mop bucket and stuff a cleaner for everything, paper towels, rags, dustpan with the little attached hand broom, and a grocery bag or two. I pack it from area to area with me. The grocery bag is for trash that has found its way under things and out of sight, or for a paper towels that are used up from cleaning/blowing my nose.
4. The Catch all. This isn't so much of a Cleaning tip, as it is a keep it clean tip. But since you still have to clean your Catch All, I can slide it in. This is a "catch all" area, usually by the door, that can make a localized mess (you want this!). It usually attracts shoes, keys, bills, coats, etc. You can also hang your calendar in the Catch all and get extra benefit from it. When you clean your place, your catch all has caught most, and you can just scoop it up. Not to mention, if your anything like me, you won't misplace things as much, and keep more appointments with the help of your catch all and calendar.
5. Tackling the floor. Ok, this is where people get worn out by doing it the hard way. I've seen even the best house cleaners wear themselves out by going about it all wrong. If you walk around and pick up things like this "toy, shoe, piece of clothing, this goes in the trash, this goes here" then you are doing it wrong. Simply, look around, What ever there is more of, that's first. Kid's room have toys everywhere? Then toys first. After that is cleared away, then do clothing. Every pass will make it better, and by doing the big one first, it isn't as discouraging because the next pass always looks easier than what you just did.
6. Swept off your feet. I have tile floors, so mine is a two parter, if you have carpet, than this is even easier. You've started high, wiped the tables/tv/dressers, and moved everything out of the way. Now you can sweep your floor, or vacuum. If your still energized and your couch isn't a thousand pounds from the clutter on in, you can slide it out and sweep behind it first. I always sweep the hardest part first, then it just gets easier.
7. Mopping. I always save mopping for the very last. I even do my dishes first. But I wanted to break this down as a kind of cleaning your living room/bedroom/utility room guide first. So this has to go in here. By wiping off your tables, you've made it smell pretty good in here so far, but mopping will not only clean, but put that finishing scent in your place that makes it just wonderful to be in. Mop your way out of the area and don't come back in until its dry. Stand guard if you must to protect against muddy intruders.
8. Take out that trash. you don't want it stinking up your nice clean place. Sprinkle some baby powder, carpet sprinkle, whatever is handy in the new bag for an extra kick of freshness.
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The Kitchen tips.
1. Jenga!. if you have a sink full, just looking at them can make you want to run screaming. Take the dishes out of the sink and stack them up. Plates together, cups side by side, pots n pans neatly inside one another. Then you can assess the severity of the job, usually its not as bad as it once looked. Fill your sink up with warm water and soap and do one section at a time. I always do silverware and cups first, because they are the most hated, and I like things to get easier as I go. Whatever you hate the most about dishes, just do it first, you'll feel better once that section is out of your way.
2. Wipe it good! Wipe down your counter-tops and stove. I save old scrub sponges that I won't use on the dishes anymore for this. I scrub everything down with hot water to get the hard stuff off. Then I put the sponge away and break out the paper towels and spray cleaner. This way I don't use as much cleaner trying to break up anything stuck on. It saves you money and helps the environment. Win/win
3. Put those dishes up. By now, dishes are probably dry. Put them away so you can enjoy a clutter free kitchen.
4. Sweep and mop. self explanatory
5. Take out the trash.
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The bathroom (cue scary music here)
1. Pick up. Get the laundry outta here. you might also find a few bare toilet paper rolls you can toss. usually the bathroom won't have as much in the way of picking up. Also, take all your shampoo bottles, soaps and various other things lying out and put them in a bucket or on your bathroom rug and slide them to the outside of the bathroom door to deal with later.
2. Your arsenal. Yep, your gonna need it.
3. The spray down. Get your bathroom spray and (after removing bottles, soaps, etc) spray the heck outta that tub, shower, sink, toilet. Open a window before you pass out!
4. Wipe it good! By the time you've sprayed your various sprays. The first thing you sprayed is the first thing you will wipe/scrub. Just work your way through by the way you worked your way in. You'll probably run into a lot of hair in here. Just pluck it from your brandished sword of cleaning and toss it in the trash as you go. You can rinse as well if necessary. Don't forget that bathroom mirror, you might have a hard time seeing yourself through all that toothpaste(we all watch ourselves brush our teeth).
5. Sweep and mop. now that everything is cleared out and done from top to bottom, you've paved your way to easy town, to get this done.
6. Place and replace. Get that giant pile of "so fresh and so clean" and place every item where it belongs. You might need to wipe the bottoms of your bottles in case they have picked up soap scum. This is also a great time to de-fuzz your hairbrushes. They're starting to look like they have a head of hair of their own!
7. The beat down! Take that bathroom rug outside and give it a beating it will never forget.
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The Extra tips and tricks I've picked up
Put dryer sheets in each drawer of your dresser. It keeps your clothes smelling nice for a long time. If you feel like it, safety pin one to each of your hangers for the clothes in your closet.
If you use bar soap and have a bunch of little pieces from not finishing the bar, drop them in the back of your toilet. They don't do much, but they do make a nice smell every time you flush (do not overload. Put them the farthest from the little hole inside).
Take your favorite air freshener or perfume and spray it on your light bulbs. When they heat up they will spread the lovely smell around. (do not spray on a hot bulb! I put it on new bulb or bulbs that haven't been on in a while. If you spray a hot bulb, it will break!)
Spray lysol or air freshener in your waste baskets under and in the trash bags to help combat odors.
If you smoke inside (I don't), line the inside of your ashtrays with carpet sprinkle or kitty litter. It helps extinguish them and keeps them from stinking up the place.
Take a clean rag and spray it with your best cleaning solution or air freshener and wipe your walls and doors with it. You don't have to clean your walls every time you clean, but this will add a pleasant long lasting scent that makes it nice, just as if you did.
Take a needle and thread and run it through big pieces of potpourri, necklace/bracelet style, and hang it on wall pictures or door knobs. It doesn't look half bad, and smells great.
After I have used a sponge on dishes for a while, I don't toss it right away. I use it on dishes, then for the counters and stove, then when its not good enough for those, I use it in the bathroom. I usually by multicolor sponges so I know which color each area is on. Saves money, good for the environment. Win/win
I like to strip the bed of everything, toss some carpet sprinkle on, and jump up there and vacuum it really good. It works wonders, but if someone sees you standing on the bed vacuuming it, you might have some 'splaining to do.
Sometimes, when you vacuum, your vacuum gives off foul smells from sucking up foul things. Usually, if you use carpet sprinkle, it won't be a problem. If you have a bag-less vacuum you can put a few spoonfuls of laundry detergent in the canister (or bag if it takes one), and the air that it pushes out will now smell wonderful. Also, if you clean the filter out with water every so often, just add some lemon juice in there too. After letting it dry out and putting it back in, the air coming from it will be fresh and citrusy.
This isn't a cleaning tip but its pretty cool. Know how your mirror fogs up when you shower? Take shaving cream (not gel) like barbasol and spray it on the mirror, take a dry paper towel and smear it around and wipe off (not with any cleaning solution) until clear. Next time you get out, no fog. This works for a couple of days until you need to do it again.
This one isn't a cleaning tip either. Take your cooking spray and use it on squeaky door hinges. A little spray then open and close the door a few times and listen to the squeak magically go away!
Got chewing gum on one of your favorite clothing items? No problemo! Just pop it in the freezer, and when you come back the next day or after a few hours, the gum will have frozen solid and can be snapped and cracked off. If its on the floor, just use oil or mayonaise on it, work it in and pull it off. Ice cubes can be used in the same manner as the freezer for things that will not fit.
Get your spring cleaning done when you're feeling it. The more you make yourself do something you don't wanna do, the more you will hate it and torture yourself every time it comes around. My biggest tool out of all those tips and tricks is still the music. A rockin tune will get me on my feet faster than anything.
This is Jessica, wishing you many lemon scented days, a clutter free home, and a wonderfully random world.
SC Johnson has some really great smelling products, such as Pledge, Scrubbing bubbles, and glade. They also have a bunch more tips on their website (if those weren't enough for ya)
Friday, April 15, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Protect And Serve (Contraception Education)
This is kind of related to my post the other day "Playing Poker And Losing More Than Your Money"
I was reading different news online today and found this article. These are the types of things that sadden me.
I was reading different news online today and found this article. These are the types of things that sadden me.
You don't have to click on the link cause here is the article, but I wanted you to be able to so you could get it right from the horses ass, I mean mouth.
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School districts told not to use contraception presentation
Two Salt Lake County school districts that had hoped to use a contraception presentation scrapped by state education officials were told Tuesday to back off.
The Utah State Office of Education (USOE) sent a letter to superintendents, charter directors and curriculum directors throughout Utah Tuesday afternoon that said, “We ask that you inform your schools that this draft must not be used.” USOE sent the letter after learning that Granite and Salt Lake City school district review committees — consisting of parents, teachers, district officials and medical professionals — had decided to allow high school teachers to use the slide show in sex education instruction.
USOE developed the slide show to address concerns that some teachers are afraid to teach students about contraception because they worry they’ll be accused of advocating its use — which is against Utah law. The state sent a draft of the slide show to some district health specialists and other groups for comment, but ultimately abandoned the idea after complaints from some lawmakers, activists and state school board members.
The presentation consists of 21 slides that explain different types of contraception, failure rates and side effects. It also describes abstinence as the only 100 percent effective method to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
“When we took a look at it we had complaints that some of it was too detailed. Other reviewers complained it was not detailed enough, so our leadership just made a decision the draft was not doing what we wanted it to do, and it was better left to [districts and charters] to make decisions on what they want to use,” said Brenda Hales, state associate superintendent, who sent the letter Tuesday. “It wasn’t intended to be used in its current form.”
Ron Burnside, a curriculum specialist in Granite who was part of the group that helped develop the slide show, said Granite now likely won’t use it. He said he might try to meet with some of the district’s health professionals to discuss whether they should try to find a different way to help teachers present the information.
He said he thought it was a good presentation.
“In a touchy subject such as this, you have some teachers who aren’t sure what they should and shouldn’t say,” Burnside said. “With this, it goes through it, so they don’t feel uncomfortable in what they can and can’t present.”
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Now, How could teaching adolescences about contraceptives be a bad thing? First, they are gonna bump uglies no matter what. Second, if they have knowledge and access to protection, we can decrease the staggering numbers of teen pregnancies and STDs. Not only does STDs affect them, but what happens if it's the double whammy? Infected and impregnated? Now you have an infant that has a large chance of being born with a disease. AIDS? You might be old enough to remember your mommy before she passes. And what kind of memory would that be? That would set the stage for the rest of your life.
These kinds of stories just infuriate me to no end. When I was a teen, I knew about birth control pills and condoms mostly. I passed condoms out to my friends. Most of them didn't even like to ask at first because of the embarrassment felt. And this is a little personal, but one time when I was a young adult and was in a relationship, when it came down to business with him for the first time (not virginity first mind you), he actually unrolled the condom before trying to put it on! It wasn't his fault, and he was soooo embarassed when I corrected him, got another one and had to show him. Needless to say, because of crippling humiliation associated with sex, the first time was a day or two later, after he got over feeling like he'd done something stupid.
The law needs to do something, NOW! Right fucking NOW! I am getting so sick of watching, reading, and hearing about the fears and ignorance that our older generation is pouring all over us. If the school won't teach your kid, you do it. If you can't handle it, fucking bring em to me. I'll set out some folding chairs and some freaking cookies and have my homie innomen (if he'd be cool with it, and I'm pretty sure he would) set me up a power point and teach everyone. You can do it without embarrassment, disrespect, or crossing any lines of inappropriateness.
I know some of you out there in reader land might be like, "damn, calm down" or, "I don't have any kids", or, "I'll teach my kid, the rest is someone else's problem." WRONG! Every potential boyfriend/girlfriend your kid has, has the potential to infect/impregnate them. We can teach them and teach them, but when some other teen who is easy on the eyes, doesn't know anything about anything, and is weird every time your educated teen brings up safe sex comes along, you know there is a 50/50 chance that a poor decision could be made. It might not end up bad, but all that will do is encourage them to mess up more.
Teens have self esteem issues as it is, without someone to make them feel uncomfortable for being smart. And yes, they do feel uncomfortable for being smart sometimes. My friend, for example(again), innomen was one of the smartest dudes I knew as a teen. You know what he got for it? A terrible high school experience. After school was done, every time he explained something, even to people who ask the damn question, he would get rolled eyes or exaggerated sighs of boredom. Just to make him feel out of place. It's no damn wonder he was so cynical. Some days, I'd come rolling in and be like 'la la la, what's up dude" and he would sound like the dog on wacky races (razza frazza...). All that for being a curious and outspoken individual. Someone with endless potential, surrounded by people that (metaphorically) stomped him to the ground. Then after all that, they'd say "what's eating him?" ARGHHH!
Teach your kids something. Teach yourself something. Let someone else teach them. Just make room for them to learn and form their own opinions. Quit vicariously living through them. The best defense you can give your children is knowledge and common sense. If you do, maybe we will all get lucky and they will end up in our government and make some changes that we can all groove to. If we keep churning them out the same way, generation after generation, then we are gonna get the same shit dropped on our heads every time. And the sad thing is, when it does happens, we're gonna be fucking surprised every time and say "I don't understand why everything is so messed up?"
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Thanks For The Add! (The Importance Of Friendships)
How many friends do you have? No, not facebook friends, real friends. Think about it. If your answer is more than one or two, you're a lucky son of a...well, you get the point. I, myself, have a handful of people I consider friends. To me, that makes me the luckiest, richest, and happiest person in the world. Do you take your friends for granted? Do you forget about them if you haven't seen them in a few months? A year? Well, you shouldn't.
What do you consider a 'friend'? To me, all of my friends are my 'best' friends. When I was a kid, I seen sets of two people that were best friends everywhere. I (who was very unpopular, and mostly unliked) wanted that soooo badly. So much in fact, that I was the sucker born every minute. Kids could get me to do just about anything with a few kind words. When puberty (and wild emotions) kicked in, I grew very cynical and mostly stayed away from everyone else. When I did start making friends, real ones, I never understood the one 'best friend' thing. They were all the best to me.
I meet people I like, not all the time, but anytime someone easy going comes around. But to me, that's not a friend, that's just a cool person I've met, with the potential to be my friend. I've heard the saying that the word love gets tossed around to easily, to me the word friend does too. Don't they mean the same thing? It's a person you plan to spend the rest of your life hanging out with, doing things for, sharing secrets, and sticking your neck out for, if, the opportunity should ever present itself. The only difference I see, is your not romping in the sheets like wild animals, and sometimes, that happens too.
I have a handful of best friends. <--Just typing that sentence right there, made me smile. If your one of those awesome people I choose to spend the rest of my natural (and unnatural at times) life with, I hope it made you smile as well. I love my friends, and unlike the 'love' we do toss around so carelessly, I know it's real. I can go without seeing one of my friends for years, and when they do pop up, it's like they never left. They can always be greeted with a warm smile, a big hug, and sit at the dinner table and never feel awkward for the time that's passed.
Earlier when I asked if you take your friends for granted, what I meant was; would you quit seeing your friend if someone asked you to? Would you steal from them, hurt them, make them feel bad, or anything else that would make them feel inadequate around you? If so, then your not a very good friend at all. It would be nice to say that all my friends get along with each other, and we are like one big family, but that's not the case (ah, in a perfect world it would be). Some of them actually despise one another, and can't believe I would choose to spend my time anywhere near their nemesis. But, I don't care, and I would never choose one over the other, EVER, and they would never ask me to (only question my sanity).
Over half of my friends are dudes, and I've had boyfriends that get jealous of hours logged with my dudely homies. Those guys never lasted long, or were quickly corrected on how to proceed if they wanted to stay. So much so, that as I got older, I would tell a 'romantic interest' ahead of time, that if they couldn't handle seeing me get along so famously with other guys, that maybe I wasn't the right fit for them.
I would gladly give my life for anyone of my friends, luckily, I've never had to (hence being able to type this blog), and they've never put me in a situation that called for that kind of extreme measure. At the same time, we all run into trouble every now and again, and do you know who they call? Ghostbusters! Sorry, I couldn't help myself. No, they call me, and anyone else they consider to be a true friend. I have also called any one of them depending on what exactly is going on. And luckily, I have such good friends, that they will drop just about anything they are doing and come running if it's required. My friends have such a great sense of loyalty, and know I feel it the same way for them. It seems that loyalty is hard to come by from anything other than a dog anymore, so when you find someone with a real grasp on what it means, they are a real treasure.
Friends are important to have. We have a real need for them. What makes friends so great, is that they aren't family. Family pretty much has to deal with you. Family, if on the other side, might not have chosen you as their friend, they were just placed there and grew with you, love was pre-installed. Friends don't have to like you. They don't have to hang out with you, or be nice, or do you any favors at all. They chose to be around you. They come into your life and make it better, and they come back because they WANT to. They like you, your ideas, or share common interests with you. Some of them don't even like the same crap you do, but still like you as a person.
We don't realize how important these connections are sometimes. Maybe we don't even realize that we are feeling love for our friends, because we connect that word to a family feeling, or a sexual one. Some of the most pure love I have ever felt has come from a friend. I can hear about something sad happening to one of my friends, and feel like I want to cry for them. If there in a bad mood, I will act like a complete idiot just to make them smile, and they'd do the same for me. When someone tells me they have this crazy number of friends, I wonder if they really even have one. We set the bar so low on friendships, that they seem like they are just friendly acquaintances we surround ourselves with. To me, that is sad, because I don't know where I'd be, or if I'd even be here at all, if it wasn't for my handful of best friends looking out for me. You know what they say..."keep your friends close, so they can pound the crap outta your enemies", or something like that.
If any of you guys are reading this, thank you for being my compadre, and putting up with my endless parade of crap and motormouthing.
P.S. It's not easy being cheesy.
Monday, April 11, 2011
More Than The Right To Remain Silent (human rights)
Here recently I have been thinking about our human rights, so I asked a few of my friends if, A., they knew how many human rights we had, and B., if they could name any. The answers were about the same across the board. No one knew, or could guess how many human rights there was, and they could pop off anywhere from 5 to 10 of them. Not bad, right? Wrong! These are your rights, you should atleast know all the ones that apply to yourself. So, I want to enlighten you on your human rights, and what they mean to you.
First, let's talk about what a right is. A right is a freedom of some kind. It is something to which you are entitled. There is a difference in rights and permits. We are permitted to carry concealed weapons. We get a permit, and we can carry them around concealed. We have the right to keep weapons to protect ourselves, and our homes. It is very important to know the difference between what you are permitted to do and what you have the right to do.
The Human Rights are defined as: The basic rights and freedoms to which all human beings are entitled, often held to include the right to life and liberty, freedom of thought and expression, and equality before the law.
So Jessica, what does that mean? Glad you asked :) Equality before the law. That's a pretty powerful statement. What that means, is that the law can not take away these rights. That doesn't mean they won't ever try (many examples I could list, but I'm sure you could too). If you don't know your rights, and someone trys to take them away from you, or convince you that you don't have them, what do you think will happen?
Long before human rights even existed, men and women fought and died for these freedoms. They still do! All over the world people are fighting for basic human rights. Now, doesn't it seem insulting that people that do have them, don't even know them, or care to learn them? DAMN RIGHT! When I was in school, I never once was told about them. I knew about the constitution and the bill of rights, but never heard about human rights until I was an adult. That's just pathetic...and sad.
After World War II, the leading nations realized they had to create a document to include all human rights. That document, boys and girls, is called the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. It contains the thirty (yep 30 big ones) rights to which all people are entitled. This document was created in 1948 (not that old at all really, the declaration of independence was 1776).
Ok, a few more details, then I'll sock em to ya. Eleanor Roosevelt led the committee that created this document. The United Nations created international laws to protect human rights (a process that took close to 20 years!). As a result of this, basic laws of many nations today include the rights contained in this declaration.
And without further ado, here is the big list.
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First, let's talk about what a right is. A right is a freedom of some kind. It is something to which you are entitled. There is a difference in rights and permits. We are permitted to carry concealed weapons. We get a permit, and we can carry them around concealed. We have the right to keep weapons to protect ourselves, and our homes. It is very important to know the difference between what you are permitted to do and what you have the right to do.
The Human Rights are defined as: The basic rights and freedoms to which all human beings are entitled, often held to include the right to life and liberty, freedom of thought and expression, and equality before the law.
So Jessica, what does that mean? Glad you asked :) Equality before the law. That's a pretty powerful statement. What that means, is that the law can not take away these rights. That doesn't mean they won't ever try (many examples I could list, but I'm sure you could too). If you don't know your rights, and someone trys to take them away from you, or convince you that you don't have them, what do you think will happen?
Long before human rights even existed, men and women fought and died for these freedoms. They still do! All over the world people are fighting for basic human rights. Now, doesn't it seem insulting that people that do have them, don't even know them, or care to learn them? DAMN RIGHT! When I was in school, I never once was told about them. I knew about the constitution and the bill of rights, but never heard about human rights until I was an adult. That's just pathetic...and sad.
After World War II, the leading nations realized they had to create a document to include all human rights. That document, boys and girls, is called the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. It contains the thirty (yep 30 big ones) rights to which all people are entitled. This document was created in 1948 (not that old at all really, the declaration of independence was 1776).
Ok, a few more details, then I'll sock em to ya. Eleanor Roosevelt led the committee that created this document. The United Nations created international laws to protect human rights (a process that took close to 20 years!). As a result of this, basic laws of many nations today include the rights contained in this declaration.
And without further ado, here is the big list.
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The Universal Declaration Of Human Rights
1. We are all born free and equal. We are all born free. We all have our own thoughts and ideas. We should all be treated in the same way.
2. Don't discriminate. These rights belong to everybody, whatever our differences.
3. The right to life. We all have the right to life, and to live in freedom and safety.
4. No Slavery. Nobody has any right to make us a slave. We cannot make anyone our slave.
5 No torture. Nobody has any right to hurt us or torture us.
6. You have rights no matter where you go. You are a person just like anyone else!
7. We're all equal before the law. The law is the same for everyone. It must treat us all fairly.
8. Your human rights are protected by the law. We can all ask for the law to help us when we are not treated fairly.
9. No unfair detainment. Nobody has the right to put us in prison without good reason and keep us there, or to send us away from our country.
10. The right to trial. If we are put on trial this should be in public. The people who try us should not let anyone tell them what to do.
11. We're always innocent till proven guilty. Nobody should be blamed for something until it is proven. When people say we did a bad thing, we have the right to show it is not true.
12. The right to privacy. Nobody should try to harm our good name. Nobody has the right to come into our home, open our letters or bother us or our family without a good reason.
13 Freedom to move. We all have the right to go where we want in our own country and to travel as we wish.
14. The right to seek a safe place to live. If we are frightened of being badly treated in our own country, we all have the right to run away to another country to be safe.
15. Right to a nationality. We all have the right to belong to a country.
16 Marriage and family. Every grown-up has the right to marry and have a family if the want to. Men and women have the same rights when they are married, and when they are separated.
(side note, this does not say only men and women get married, just that we all have the same rights whether we are married or not. I believe making same sex marriage illegal is a violation of this right.)
17. The right to your own things. Everyone has the right to own things or share them. Nobody should take our things from us without a good reason.
18. Freedom of thought. We all have the right to believe in what we want to believe, to have a religion, or to change it if we want.
19. Freedom of expression. We all have the right to make up our own minds, to think what we like, to say what we think, and to share our ideas with other people.
20. The right to public assembly. We all have the right to meet our friends and to work together in peace to defend our rights. Nobody can make us join a group if we don't want to.
21. The right to democracy. We all have the right to take part in the government of our country. Every grown-up should be allowed to choose their own leaders.
22. Social Security. We all have the right to affordable housing, medicine, education, and childcare, engoh money to live on and medical help if we are ill or old.
23. Workers' rights. Every grown-up has the right to do a job, to a fair wage for their work, and to join a trade union.
24. The right to play. We all have the right to rest from work and to relax.
25. Food and shelter for all. We all have the right to a good life. Mothers and children, people who are old, unemployed or disabled, and all people have the right to be cared for.
26. The right to education. Education is a right. Primary school should be free. We should learn about the United Nations and how to get along with others. Our parents can choose what we learn when we are young.
27. Copyright. Copyright is a special law that protects one's own artistic creations and writings; others cannot make copies without permission. We all have the right to our own way of life and to enjoy the good things that art, science and learning bring.
28. A free and fair world. There must be a proper order so we can all enjoy rights and freedoms in our own country and all over the world.
29. Responsibility. We have a duty to other people, and we should protect their rights and freedoms.
30. No one can take away your human rights.
__________________________________________________________________________________
After reading these, you might think one of two things (or more). One, some of them are very basic, almost common sense. But without laws to protect them, who's to help you when you've been stripped of them? And Two, lots of these rights are being violated all over the place, even at home. Yep, that is true. When people are uneducated about the rights they are entitled to, thats when they lose something they didn't even know they had. To get it back becomes a struggle, when we could have just been taught about them and had them to begin with.
Promote human rights. There are actions you can take. You can visit www.youthforhumanrights.org and find out how our youth is learning about these rights. You can start a human rights group online or in person. And most importantly, you can teach others about human rights. Knowledge is contagious, it spreads and grows and evolves. Shouldn't the knowledge and ideas you spread be positive and powerful? One person can make a difference, even if its a small one. And I'll take a small difference for the good over nothing any day.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Innomen is standing on Lafango's stage of the day
Today, a friend of mine gets the honor of being Lafango's 'Stage of the day'. Innomen has had his blog for quite some time now, and regularly writes about topics that, maybe, you or I might not be bold enough to put what we really think for the world to see. Even if he thinks no one else agrees with him, he is not slowed down or filtered by anyone.
I have been friends with innomen since my teenage years, and have got the pleasure of getting his big personality in full force (*cough* whether I liked it or not). To just read his blog, you get a sense of his intelligence and sheer will, and its easy to imagine that he might not be easy to hang out with if your beliefs differ from his. This is not the case. Innomen is a delight to hang out with. He is polite, soft spoken, and willing to listen to just about anything you have to say, just make sure you can handle his side of it. To me, he is a very interesting person, with big ideas, and although I might not agree with them all, I love to hear them.
I am very happy that today he gets featured on Lafango. I will be there to show my support, and if you like big debates, smart people, and even bigger personalities(and ladies, he's single and not too bad on the eyes!) then go over to lafango and have a look!
Here is the link to the stage of the day: http://lafango.com/innomen?utm_source=lafango&utm_medium=banner&utm_content=innomen&utm_campaign=sotd#!/media/1427932-introduction-to-innomen
Also, check out his blog, it has some really interesting stuff in it: http://underlore.com/TBA/
I have been friends with innomen since my teenage years, and have got the pleasure of getting his big personality in full force (*cough* whether I liked it or not). To just read his blog, you get a sense of his intelligence and sheer will, and its easy to imagine that he might not be easy to hang out with if your beliefs differ from his. This is not the case. Innomen is a delight to hang out with. He is polite, soft spoken, and willing to listen to just about anything you have to say, just make sure you can handle his side of it. To me, he is a very interesting person, with big ideas, and although I might not agree with them all, I love to hear them.
I am very happy that today he gets featured on Lafango. I will be there to show my support, and if you like big debates, smart people, and even bigger personalities(and ladies, he's single and not too bad on the eyes!) then go over to lafango and have a look!
Here is the link to the stage of the day: http://lafango.com/innomen?utm_source=lafango&utm_medium=banner&utm_content=innomen&utm_campaign=sotd#!/media/1427932-introduction-to-innomen
Also, check out his blog, it has some really interesting stuff in it: http://underlore.com/TBA/
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Playing Poker and Losing More Than Your Money (Safe Sex, and the dangers of not having it)
Now, I don't know who all reads this blog, how old you are, or how naive you can be when it comes to sex. So, fair warning, this one might not be your cup of tea. Although I want everyone to read this, I do not want to offend or insult anyone or their intelligence. Ok, now that your not plotting on finding me in a dark alley, let's move on.
If you have religious reasons (or any other reason for that matter) for not using condoms or birth control, that's fine, it's America and you have the right. But, you should be extra careful, because even though you might not have something, not only do people lie, but a large portion of people that have a sexually transmitted disease, don't even know they do.
There is a staggering amount of teens that are getting pregnant and infected with STDs. Most people over the age of 25 don't even think about this unless they have a kid of their own, or they see an extremely young mother with her baby in Walmart. You occasionally hear about it on tv, and even then, it's either not the actual topic, or its soooo boring you immediately change the channel. The worst way we usually see it is on talk shows, where these people are being humiliated for the entertainment of others.
We barely have a sex education in school, and in a lot of schools we have what they call 'abstinence only'. The fact that anything that has to do with the education of sex has the word 'only' in it, makes me cringe. Sex is still taboo to this day. We've loosened up a lot over the years, but not that damn much. People are scared of their kids having sex (and I understand this well, I have a son) and making a mistake that will follow them for the rest of their life. And as with most things we truly fear, we avoid it at all costs. This, in this instance, is a bad mistake. But, fear is irrational and its not surprising, it's not right, but its not surprising.
The Health Department gives out free condoms, you can walk in, grab an envelope and walk out. You don't have to ask, they are in a little shelf on the wall by the door. There is no age limit, and no one knows your name. I bet I could pick out 10 random teens age 12-17 and at the very least, 5 of them would be getting new information by me telling them this. I say 12-17 not because I think its cool for that age to be having sex, but that is the age of puberty. We can teach young teens about sex without being crude, and without a stage performance (what's up with those anyway, am I right?).
Just teach them, they aren't dumb, you only talk to them that way when you're uncomfortable with something. They instantly pick up on those vibes, and guess what, now sex is an awkward subject for them too! Do you remember your "birds and the bees" talk, or did you even get one? Did you learn from your friends and just kinda wing it? If you were one of the ones who were 'winging' it, I'm sure you understand how awkward and uncomfortable 'sexy' situations can be.
So if you feel ashamed, weird, or uncomfortable when your getting ready to do the deed, do you think you'll talk about condoms when it comes down to 'nakey time'? Probably not, and if you do and there isn't one around, it's very possible you'll be like "fuck it", and do it anyway. This is sad. Not only are we uneducated, but we are ashamed of our sexuality, it has become something dirty. Because we have been scared, and uneducated, we haven't protected ourselves and sex can now be very deadly.
A teen's self esteem is pretty fragile as it is anyway, to shame them for thoughts that are pretty mandatory, seem like torture to me. But if we arm them with knowledge and the tools to be safe, I bet they would surprise us with how responsible they could be. They might have sex, but they won't be bringing home a baby, or something that could kill or maim them.
It's not just teens that don't practice safe sex either. Adults do this all the time. People get in their heads, that they can just have a quick once over look at their partner and visibly see diseases. Like I said earlier, some people that have diseases don't even know they have them, how could you know in 5 seconds in a dim room?
We get older and our self esteem isn't much better, we've had kids and are not sporting that hot bod anymore, or gravity, stress, the sun, and various other abuses our bodies have endured, have made us (putting it nicely) less than camera ready when naked. So we are doing the same thing as the young adults as far as making deadly gambles with our naughty parts.
I think it would be great for the school to teach sex ed, but you know what would be even greater, if we quit being embarrassed by sex, and teach them at home as well. Teens tend to learn more from each other as far as personal things go. If one or two well educated teens hung out with a large group of not so sex educated teens, I think that could go a pretty long way as well. Nobody wants to see a 15yr old girl with a baby, and we don't want to see another 15yr old boy with child support payments to make. Getting a good education while going through puberty is hard enough without a baby, child support, and a part time job. And it's even harder if your going to the hospital for treatments for a debilitating disease.
Sex is always going to be around. Teens are always going to make bad decisions, and very few people end up marrying the person they lost their virginity to. If all it takes to keep my kid safe is to sit down and have a really uncomfortable talk, then toss him some condoms, then I'm totally cool with that. As adults, we should also be using condoms on a regular basis. No matter how old you are, disease is nothing to take lightly, and neither are babies.
If you have religious reasons (or any other reason for that matter) for not using condoms or birth control, that's fine, it's America and you have the right. But, you should be extra careful, because even though you might not have something, not only do people lie, but a large portion of people that have a sexually transmitted disease, don't even know they do.
There is a staggering amount of teens that are getting pregnant and infected with STDs. Most people over the age of 25 don't even think about this unless they have a kid of their own, or they see an extremely young mother with her baby in Walmart. You occasionally hear about it on tv, and even then, it's either not the actual topic, or its soooo boring you immediately change the channel. The worst way we usually see it is on talk shows, where these people are being humiliated for the entertainment of others.
We barely have a sex education in school, and in a lot of schools we have what they call 'abstinence only'. The fact that anything that has to do with the education of sex has the word 'only' in it, makes me cringe. Sex is still taboo to this day. We've loosened up a lot over the years, but not that damn much. People are scared of their kids having sex (and I understand this well, I have a son) and making a mistake that will follow them for the rest of their life. And as with most things we truly fear, we avoid it at all costs. This, in this instance, is a bad mistake. But, fear is irrational and its not surprising, it's not right, but its not surprising.
The Health Department gives out free condoms, you can walk in, grab an envelope and walk out. You don't have to ask, they are in a little shelf on the wall by the door. There is no age limit, and no one knows your name. I bet I could pick out 10 random teens age 12-17 and at the very least, 5 of them would be getting new information by me telling them this. I say 12-17 not because I think its cool for that age to be having sex, but that is the age of puberty. We can teach young teens about sex without being crude, and without a stage performance (what's up with those anyway, am I right?).
Just teach them, they aren't dumb, you only talk to them that way when you're uncomfortable with something. They instantly pick up on those vibes, and guess what, now sex is an awkward subject for them too! Do you remember your "birds and the bees" talk, or did you even get one? Did you learn from your friends and just kinda wing it? If you were one of the ones who were 'winging' it, I'm sure you understand how awkward and uncomfortable 'sexy' situations can be.
So if you feel ashamed, weird, or uncomfortable when your getting ready to do the deed, do you think you'll talk about condoms when it comes down to 'nakey time'? Probably not, and if you do and there isn't one around, it's very possible you'll be like "fuck it", and do it anyway. This is sad. Not only are we uneducated, but we are ashamed of our sexuality, it has become something dirty. Because we have been scared, and uneducated, we haven't protected ourselves and sex can now be very deadly.
A teen's self esteem is pretty fragile as it is anyway, to shame them for thoughts that are pretty mandatory, seem like torture to me. But if we arm them with knowledge and the tools to be safe, I bet they would surprise us with how responsible they could be. They might have sex, but they won't be bringing home a baby, or something that could kill or maim them.
It's not just teens that don't practice safe sex either. Adults do this all the time. People get in their heads, that they can just have a quick once over look at their partner and visibly see diseases. Like I said earlier, some people that have diseases don't even know they have them, how could you know in 5 seconds in a dim room?
We get older and our self esteem isn't much better, we've had kids and are not sporting that hot bod anymore, or gravity, stress, the sun, and various other abuses our bodies have endured, have made us (putting it nicely) less than camera ready when naked. So we are doing the same thing as the young adults as far as making deadly gambles with our naughty parts.
I think it would be great for the school to teach sex ed, but you know what would be even greater, if we quit being embarrassed by sex, and teach them at home as well. Teens tend to learn more from each other as far as personal things go. If one or two well educated teens hung out with a large group of not so sex educated teens, I think that could go a pretty long way as well. Nobody wants to see a 15yr old girl with a baby, and we don't want to see another 15yr old boy with child support payments to make. Getting a good education while going through puberty is hard enough without a baby, child support, and a part time job. And it's even harder if your going to the hospital for treatments for a debilitating disease.
Sex is always going to be around. Teens are always going to make bad decisions, and very few people end up marrying the person they lost their virginity to. If all it takes to keep my kid safe is to sit down and have a really uncomfortable talk, then toss him some condoms, then I'm totally cool with that. As adults, we should also be using condoms on a regular basis. No matter how old you are, disease is nothing to take lightly, and neither are babies.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Seven Star Review (being the critic of your own life)
We all have certain standards. We expect a certain amount of value in the things we get. We call them high and low standards, but those terms are really relative. What might be a 'low' standard to us could be a 'high' standard to someone else, or even just 'good enough' to someone else. We play horseshoes with things we like and want. Some of us, in that respect, even play golf with hand grenades and make our own hole in ones.
As far as standards go, you can't always get what you want. This is especially the case with other people. When we put those standards on inanimate objects like computers, tvs, cell phones, or things like that, we can usually get pretty close, if not all of what we want. The thing is, we have standards for everything. When we make friends, aquaintances, lovers, or even the people we plan to wake up next to the rest of our lives.
This is where things get tricky for us. People are very much different, and very much alike, in very different ways. What we look for in other people, may not even be the thing we should be looking for. We might find exactly what we're looking for, then we change, or they change. We might find hardly anything we're looking for in someone, then after hanging out with them as a friend, evolve into a perfect match. It's very a complicated and fragile process. Not only do we, ourselves, factor in, but things beyond our control can be a factor in how the flow of events and feelings we encounter can enter our lives.
Let's say we all have a metaphorical shape that encompasses our standards. For this exercise, we will say it's a star (you can see where I'm going can't you?), and lets say that our star has seven points to it, and not only is it a shape, but it is a star shaped hole, we also get a peg, but it is not star shaped, as a matter of fact, we don't know what shape it is at all, we can't see it. Now, anything we interact with has a shape as well, and when we come up to it, we can take it's shaped peg and see if it fits our standard (is this sounding dirty all of a sudden to you too?) and what we expect of it. Now, if it's another person, we get their peg, but they also get ours. So they get our unknown shape and see if it fits them, and we get their shape (which we can see but they can't) and see if it fits to our liking.
Now, all we have to go on from this other person is what they tell us about how we fit into their lives. With that knowledge and the knowledge of how well they would fit in our lives we can make an educated guess of not only how, but were they fit in........you still following me? I know, it's a doosie.
So, say for instance, we meet Jane (I guess we're gonna be a dude for this one), and we have jane's peg in our hand. Jane's peg is probably never gonna be a seven point star(that would be too easy wouldn't it?). Jane has a 5 point star. We can actually put the star piece in, and it fits, but there are 2 little pointy holes that are missing. More than likely this is fine, probably better than fine, its pretty damn good. On most things, we agree, and we're different enough to keep things interesting. Jane has to potential to be 'the star' we're looking for in a committed relationship.
Unfortunately, that is not the only factor. As Jane holds your peg, she still has to decide whether or not your a good fit for her. Let's say your a 4 point star for her. That's probably 'good enough', she likes you, thinks your interesting and everything is sun shiny and rainbows. She decides your 'the star' she wants in her life too. Win/win, right?
So you've told jane that she is the best fit for your life, and she's told you the same (certainly neither one of you would tell the other that 'your almost perfect' or 'good enough for now') and you go on your merry way. You have a great time, do fun things, and are pretty much two happy people.
Then, you start realizing what those little holes are. For you its small things, Jane's star is only missing two small pieces, things you can get over 'easy enough'. But, for Jane, those holes suck pretty bad. Its cool though, Jane's a trooper! The good outweighs anything else and that's 'good enough' for her. Well, that is, until it isn't.
Jane get tired of handling whatever it is she doesn't care for. It gets old. She needs something more. Your kinda tired too, but not too bad. After all, its not that big of a problem for you. You might not even notice the signs yet of whats going on.
But if you do, you two can work through it, your star gets an extra peg or two, you fit better because you've grown together, and you work it out.
On the other hand, one or both of you get haggard, pegs are jammed into the shape so tightly that they begin flaking off and eventually, you just don't fit anymore. It's sad, but but you move on.
Standards are relative. We all need different things, we grow as people, learn new things and hopefully find someone who can grow with us. No one is going to get a 7 star review at first. But with time and patience, they can get those 'extra points' they need to be your perfect star. It's when we start pushing triangles into the spot where our 'star' goes that we get into trouble.
They only way for someone to know where they fit in is for you to tell them. It sucks when people leave our lives, or when we leave on our own. But, not only is change necessary, but it can be good for us as well. Just because we don't know what's right around the corner, doesn't mean it's gonna be scary. Being afraid of not being liked, or of change can really hinder our ability to grow and adapt. Yeah, bad things can happen. But, bad things are gonna happen anyway. Good things can and will happen too. Things are mostly what you make of them, make something crazy good if you can.
So get out there, live a little, and be honest about where your people fit in. If you don't, not only are you hurting them, your also hurting yourself.
As far as standards go, you can't always get what you want. This is especially the case with other people. When we put those standards on inanimate objects like computers, tvs, cell phones, or things like that, we can usually get pretty close, if not all of what we want. The thing is, we have standards for everything. When we make friends, aquaintances, lovers, or even the people we plan to wake up next to the rest of our lives.
This is where things get tricky for us. People are very much different, and very much alike, in very different ways. What we look for in other people, may not even be the thing we should be looking for. We might find exactly what we're looking for, then we change, or they change. We might find hardly anything we're looking for in someone, then after hanging out with them as a friend, evolve into a perfect match. It's very a complicated and fragile process. Not only do we, ourselves, factor in, but things beyond our control can be a factor in how the flow of events and feelings we encounter can enter our lives.
Let's say we all have a metaphorical shape that encompasses our standards. For this exercise, we will say it's a star (you can see where I'm going can't you?), and lets say that our star has seven points to it, and not only is it a shape, but it is a star shaped hole, we also get a peg, but it is not star shaped, as a matter of fact, we don't know what shape it is at all, we can't see it. Now, anything we interact with has a shape as well, and when we come up to it, we can take it's shaped peg and see if it fits our standard (is this sounding dirty all of a sudden to you too?) and what we expect of it. Now, if it's another person, we get their peg, but they also get ours. So they get our unknown shape and see if it fits them, and we get their shape (which we can see but they can't) and see if it fits to our liking.
Now, all we have to go on from this other person is what they tell us about how we fit into their lives. With that knowledge and the knowledge of how well they would fit in our lives we can make an educated guess of not only how, but were they fit in........you still following me? I know, it's a doosie.
So, say for instance, we meet Jane (I guess we're gonna be a dude for this one), and we have jane's peg in our hand. Jane's peg is probably never gonna be a seven point star(that would be too easy wouldn't it?). Jane has a 5 point star. We can actually put the star piece in, and it fits, but there are 2 little pointy holes that are missing. More than likely this is fine, probably better than fine, its pretty damn good. On most things, we agree, and we're different enough to keep things interesting. Jane has to potential to be 'the star' we're looking for in a committed relationship.
Unfortunately, that is not the only factor. As Jane holds your peg, she still has to decide whether or not your a good fit for her. Let's say your a 4 point star for her. That's probably 'good enough', she likes you, thinks your interesting and everything is sun shiny and rainbows. She decides your 'the star' she wants in her life too. Win/win, right?
So you've told jane that she is the best fit for your life, and she's told you the same (certainly neither one of you would tell the other that 'your almost perfect' or 'good enough for now') and you go on your merry way. You have a great time, do fun things, and are pretty much two happy people.
Then, you start realizing what those little holes are. For you its small things, Jane's star is only missing two small pieces, things you can get over 'easy enough'. But, for Jane, those holes suck pretty bad. Its cool though, Jane's a trooper! The good outweighs anything else and that's 'good enough' for her. Well, that is, until it isn't.
Jane get tired of handling whatever it is she doesn't care for. It gets old. She needs something more. Your kinda tired too, but not too bad. After all, its not that big of a problem for you. You might not even notice the signs yet of whats going on.
But if you do, you two can work through it, your star gets an extra peg or two, you fit better because you've grown together, and you work it out.
On the other hand, one or both of you get haggard, pegs are jammed into the shape so tightly that they begin flaking off and eventually, you just don't fit anymore. It's sad, but but you move on.
Standards are relative. We all need different things, we grow as people, learn new things and hopefully find someone who can grow with us. No one is going to get a 7 star review at first. But with time and patience, they can get those 'extra points' they need to be your perfect star. It's when we start pushing triangles into the spot where our 'star' goes that we get into trouble.
They only way for someone to know where they fit in is for you to tell them. It sucks when people leave our lives, or when we leave on our own. But, not only is change necessary, but it can be good for us as well. Just because we don't know what's right around the corner, doesn't mean it's gonna be scary. Being afraid of not being liked, or of change can really hinder our ability to grow and adapt. Yeah, bad things can happen. But, bad things are gonna happen anyway. Good things can and will happen too. Things are mostly what you make of them, make something crazy good if you can.
So get out there, live a little, and be honest about where your people fit in. If you don't, not only are you hurting them, your also hurting yourself.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Dreaming: Now in stereo (where available)
A while back, I read an article or blog that resonated with me so much that, years later, I still kinda quote from it while talking to people. Now, if your like me, most of the stuff you've heard or seen through your (very interesting I'm sure) life has made you what you are today. So like me, when talking about certain things, your brain pukes out little bits of relevant material that either you have done, witnessed, read, watched or any other vehicle that you digest your knowledge. Ok, now that we understand that I'm writing something about something that I've read, then formed some of my own ideas, we can move on to what I'm getting at (credit where credit is due).
The topic was about technology. I love technology, you love technology, and even if we are not crazy advanced in understanding the best of it, we use it every day. The biggest thing that most of us use it for is to keep from being bored. There are awesome ways it's changing our world, I know, but when I think of it outside of medicine and communication, I think games, music, etc.
Ok, so technology has changed our lives, mostly for the better all and all. We can be at home by ourselves, but not be alone. How great is that? I'll tell you. It's fucking wonderful. There's more out there than outrageously social people that can talk to anyone. There are people who stay at home and don't go out, they aren't great with interacting with people, maybe they have a disorder of somekind, or a phobia, whatever, but they're out there, and we don't see them. This is not to say, they are not interesting people, with interesting ideas, they just don't do the face to face thing well, and this is the best thing since sliced bread for them, and quite frankly, all of us too.
Now, how could technology be a bad thing Jessica? Well, boys and girls, I'm not so sure what I'm getting at is bad per say, but I'd like to put it out there anyway. Tell me more. Oh, I will.
Back when I was a teenager, we had the internet, but as far as cell phones go, they weren't really anything more than a phone, and maybe had a few basic games on them. I wasn't that interested in the net yet. I had email, and one (what I called back then, and now realize I'm old) pen pal that I wrote, maybe, once a week. So other than that, I ran the streets with my friends, listened to music on a bulky stereo, or portable cd player (what is that?), did some bad stuff, some good stuff, or sat bored until the next thing came floating by.
And that, boys and girls, is what we have lost. Boredom. Seems like a dirty word doesn't it? We use it in a bad way, cause it sucks to feel that way. But the more I think about it, the more I feel like maybe we did lose something important, and I'll tell you why.
When I was a teenager and was sitting around bored for an hour or two, I would daydream (get the title now?, YYEEEAAAH! slid that right in there). I think about stuff all the time, but I usually daydream when I'm bored, and it's quiet. Now it seems, I don't day dream as much as I used to. Mostly, I do it when I am outside smoking, and before I moved here, I didn't smoke outside, so I day dreamed even less.
When was the last time you had a day dream? What do you day dream about? Is it about something you want to happen? Off the wall things that never could? Are you in your own day dreams, or are they like watching a movie? Are you a famous rock star that everyone is cheering on? Scenarios of what you will say to someone?
It doesn't matter really. Day dreaming is your creative side working its magic. It's more that just thinking, it's ideas with a vision. Even if you day dream about things that are in the past and can not be changed, that same dream can lead to ideas that work for you now. As it turns out, boredom breeds creativity.
Creativity breeds almost everything awesome we know and love. Because of it we have music, movies, games, and technology. It's kind of ironic, me make things to keep us from being bored, but being bored can make us creative, can make us create.
I love tech, I do. I don't know where I'd be without little do dads to keep me company most of my day. But I think that maybe, for an hour or two a day, we should try to find time to day dream a little. I know after snapping out of a vivid day dream, I usually find myself in a better mood. When was the last time you saw someone staring at nothing an smiling that wasn't drooling in a hospital? That person might just be brainstorming the next thing that helps 100s of people. Or comes out with the most rockin lyrics to ever blow your face off.
So, dream a little dream for me.
The topic was about technology. I love technology, you love technology, and even if we are not crazy advanced in understanding the best of it, we use it every day. The biggest thing that most of us use it for is to keep from being bored. There are awesome ways it's changing our world, I know, but when I think of it outside of medicine and communication, I think games, music, etc.
Ok, so technology has changed our lives, mostly for the better all and all. We can be at home by ourselves, but not be alone. How great is that? I'll tell you. It's fucking wonderful. There's more out there than outrageously social people that can talk to anyone. There are people who stay at home and don't go out, they aren't great with interacting with people, maybe they have a disorder of somekind, or a phobia, whatever, but they're out there, and we don't see them. This is not to say, they are not interesting people, with interesting ideas, they just don't do the face to face thing well, and this is the best thing since sliced bread for them, and quite frankly, all of us too.
Now, how could technology be a bad thing Jessica? Well, boys and girls, I'm not so sure what I'm getting at is bad per say, but I'd like to put it out there anyway. Tell me more. Oh, I will.
Back when I was a teenager, we had the internet, but as far as cell phones go, they weren't really anything more than a phone, and maybe had a few basic games on them. I wasn't that interested in the net yet. I had email, and one (what I called back then, and now realize I'm old) pen pal that I wrote, maybe, once a week. So other than that, I ran the streets with my friends, listened to music on a bulky stereo, or portable cd player (what is that?), did some bad stuff, some good stuff, or sat bored until the next thing came floating by.
And that, boys and girls, is what we have lost. Boredom. Seems like a dirty word doesn't it? We use it in a bad way, cause it sucks to feel that way. But the more I think about it, the more I feel like maybe we did lose something important, and I'll tell you why.
When I was a teenager and was sitting around bored for an hour or two, I would daydream (get the title now?, YYEEEAAAH! slid that right in there). I think about stuff all the time, but I usually daydream when I'm bored, and it's quiet. Now it seems, I don't day dream as much as I used to. Mostly, I do it when I am outside smoking, and before I moved here, I didn't smoke outside, so I day dreamed even less.
When was the last time you had a day dream? What do you day dream about? Is it about something you want to happen? Off the wall things that never could? Are you in your own day dreams, or are they like watching a movie? Are you a famous rock star that everyone is cheering on? Scenarios of what you will say to someone?
It doesn't matter really. Day dreaming is your creative side working its magic. It's more that just thinking, it's ideas with a vision. Even if you day dream about things that are in the past and can not be changed, that same dream can lead to ideas that work for you now. As it turns out, boredom breeds creativity.
Creativity breeds almost everything awesome we know and love. Because of it we have music, movies, games, and technology. It's kind of ironic, me make things to keep us from being bored, but being bored can make us creative, can make us create.
I love tech, I do. I don't know where I'd be without little do dads to keep me company most of my day. But I think that maybe, for an hour or two a day, we should try to find time to day dream a little. I know after snapping out of a vivid day dream, I usually find myself in a better mood. When was the last time you saw someone staring at nothing an smiling that wasn't drooling in a hospital? That person might just be brainstorming the next thing that helps 100s of people. Or comes out with the most rockin lyrics to ever blow your face off.
So, dream a little dream for me.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Living in the OC (pain killer addiction) Part 2
So hopefully you've read my last post before skipping over to this one. This topic is gonna be a long one, but to me its totally worth it. And I promise, I'm not gonna be on this soap box every week. My world wouldn't be so random then, would it? Ok, back to the serious stuff.
So we now know that your brain interprets your painkiller withdrawal as basically starving to death. And that surviving is our number 1 priority. So what else? Well, once we start doing things we consider questionable, like selling all of our stuff, and someone asks 'what the hell dude?', we begin to lie(cue dramatic music here). We are ashamed of what we are doing, and we don't want people we care about to know or try and make us stop. We can't have someone standing in our way now can we? No, sir-ee.
Now we are alone, infants in our addiction, and we need to figure out how to go on. We seek out others like ourselves. These people "understand" us, help us get what we need, they even share their painkillers with us at first, and we do the same. We don't know that most of these friendships are really just the most basic symbiotic relationships. We just need them, and use them, and where we do it with a smile, we lie to ourselves and say "we're the best of friends", or, "he/she knows where i'm coming from." Yeah, that's bologna with a side of flim flam. But, like the rest of them, I did it too.
As our addiction progresses though, we get our own dealers or connections, and even the new "friends" start getting in the way. They run out of their 'medicine' and come 'hang out'. You are now even hiding from them to do your pills. You only want to 'hang out' with them, when your out. But you tell yourself, your not like them, your actually coming to hang out, to get your mind off of things, to come up with a solution together. You want some Jive with that bologna?
So now we are isolated from our real friends, and mostly from our drug friends, and now have nothing. No possessions, no friends, no hope, and possibly no food or utilities or maybe even a place to live. Think we've had enough yet? Nope. Things are terrible! "I need to get a pill so i can just figure all this out", "It's so unfair that so and so won't let me borrow some money, i'm good for it", "I'll remember them when I get back on my feet and they need help". That's not even the worst of it. Despair turns to anger very quickly, and anger can lead you anywhere.
So its very possible that addicts end up stealing, or worse than regular stealing, mugging people and hurting them. This will to survive has turned them into something that they'd never in a million years thought they'd be. A bad person. Deep down inside, they really aren't, but survivors don't care about anything but surviving.
Here's the bad part. People see these "bad people" and say things like, "Just throw them all in Jail", or, "These people are a waste of space". I've even heard and read people saying that it would be great if all the junkies would just die. How great that would be for them, they would just throw a party. This is a terrible way to see another human being. Someone who is really hurting, and needs help. We don't understand them, or know how to help them, so we just want them to die? This is what makes me even more sad than anything. This reaction to our fellow human beings. These are someones brother, sister, mother, father, son, or daughter.
These people didn't sit in class in 3rd grade and answer the word 'junkie' to the question "And what do YOU want to be when you grow up?" Yep, that's the same person that wanted to be an astronaut, doctor, vet, or princess. And where we are now, you can take a look at a 3rd grade class, look in those innocent faces, and know at least 3 will be addicts, and at least 3 probably have an addict for a parent.
So, after all that, What is the solution? Good question. I don't know. Big let down, I know. But I'll tell you this. Treatment can't hurt. Methadone has worse withdrawal than painkillers, and I for one, don't think its an answer, but it gets people off the streets, and possibly has saved the lives of the person on it, or the person they would have attacked for money.
I personally lean more toward suboxone with weekly treatments in group and individual therapy. But, I'm biased. That's what got me off of drugs. That's what also got a few of my friends off of drugs once I was so grateful for getting my life back that I just had to pay it forward. So because i'm biased, I'm gonna tell you what i think about suboxone and therapy.
With methadone, you start on a low dose and work your way up (sound familiar?). With suboxone, you start on the highest dose and work your way down. Suboxone's drug name is buprenorphine and naloxone. That's because it is two drugs in one. It comes as a tablet or film that you place under the tounge which is refered to as sublingual (sounds like underground jive talk i know) medicine.
Suboxone works by introducing an opiate (painkiller) and an opiate blocker into your system. When you first start taking it, you feel the opiate. This gives your brain the thing its looking for, so it quits sending out pain signals to your body (its way of punishing you for not getting those pills it wants) and relaxes. After taking suboxone for a bit, the naloxone starts blocking these opiates. Your brain still senses them there, the naloxone has been present the whole time, but it builds up and overpowers the opiates. So now, your not experiencing your physical withdrawals (which some think are the worst part.)
Well Jessica, if Suboxone works that good, why do you still need the therapy? Because, to get to the point of needing help with addiction, you've been on the drug for quite sometime now. You've learned certain behaviors and conduct yourself in ways you don't even realize now. You no longer cope with stress because you can take something for it. You don't have friends anymore, because the real ones can't handle what you've turned into, and the others use drugs, which you can't be around.
Therapy give you the tools needed to deal with the stresses of everyday life, being an addict, coping with what you've done while you were scouting out drugs. They help you deal with the depression and guilt you will feel for doing the things you've done. And sometimes even find a root cause of why you ended up the way you did (that is, if you didn't get a prescription, some people start them socially).
It also gives you a chance to see and speak with other recovering addicts. Some didn't end up as bad as you, and some ended up in a lot worse shape then you ever did. You start to realize that it could have gotten A LOT worse. These people and counselors have valuable things to tell you. Just as you had to learn how to get your pills and get by, you have to learn how to be sober.
One misconception is that being sober is the same as going back to the way it was. WRONG!!! There is no back to the way it was, you are now either a sober addict, or an unsober addict. Sobriety takes work, and it gets easier, so much that you might hardly ever think of it. But the one day you could be channel surfing and see a milli second of intervention, or a second of a movie where someone is using or going through withdrawals, and you know that seeing that scene makes you feel different and stirs up different emotions than some of the others around you. You understand it, you relate to it, and its who you are now.
So without therapy, suboxone (or any other thing i believe) doesn't really work. You have to be willing to put in the work. You've already found yourself in a world of hurt over believing in magic pills. Even if you could do this without help, why should you. When your car breaks, do you say, "I should be able to do this by myself. Lets just take some of this stuff out and have a look."? No. Do you do your own plumbing when your pipes burst? No. (well, except for the mechanics and plumbers out there, in which case when your Tv breaks, do you take it apart and fix it?...don't be a smarty pants!) This is really no different than that. It is a service offered to people who do not specialize in recovery, cause if we did, we'd be better by now.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. And you are not a "worthless junkie". You are a human being, and people you don't even know, haven't even met, care about you. And when your ready, they'll be there. But the thing is, you have to want it, not your family, not your friends, you. And you have to do it for yourself, don't make up a reason to do it, cause if that reason goes away, what's to stop you now. Do it for you, and when your the best you can be, then you can make everything else around you better.
For information about suboxone and treatment you can call these numbers. These are professionals and can help you get the recovery you need. You don't have to be alone.
Hand of hope (606) 393-5926 (These people can help you get a doctor, and they do counseling sessions 5 days a week. They are located in the sky tower)
Counselors clinical cottage (606) 329-0727 (basically the same as above)
If you know of anywhere else, feel free to add the details in the comments section below. You never know, you might save a life with one comment.
So we now know that your brain interprets your painkiller withdrawal as basically starving to death. And that surviving is our number 1 priority. So what else? Well, once we start doing things we consider questionable, like selling all of our stuff, and someone asks 'what the hell dude?', we begin to lie(cue dramatic music here). We are ashamed of what we are doing, and we don't want people we care about to know or try and make us stop. We can't have someone standing in our way now can we? No, sir-ee.
Now we are alone, infants in our addiction, and we need to figure out how to go on. We seek out others like ourselves. These people "understand" us, help us get what we need, they even share their painkillers with us at first, and we do the same. We don't know that most of these friendships are really just the most basic symbiotic relationships. We just need them, and use them, and where we do it with a smile, we lie to ourselves and say "we're the best of friends", or, "he/she knows where i'm coming from." Yeah, that's bologna with a side of flim flam. But, like the rest of them, I did it too.
As our addiction progresses though, we get our own dealers or connections, and even the new "friends" start getting in the way. They run out of their 'medicine' and come 'hang out'. You are now even hiding from them to do your pills. You only want to 'hang out' with them, when your out. But you tell yourself, your not like them, your actually coming to hang out, to get your mind off of things, to come up with a solution together. You want some Jive with that bologna?
So now we are isolated from our real friends, and mostly from our drug friends, and now have nothing. No possessions, no friends, no hope, and possibly no food or utilities or maybe even a place to live. Think we've had enough yet? Nope. Things are terrible! "I need to get a pill so i can just figure all this out", "It's so unfair that so and so won't let me borrow some money, i'm good for it", "I'll remember them when I get back on my feet and they need help". That's not even the worst of it. Despair turns to anger very quickly, and anger can lead you anywhere.
So its very possible that addicts end up stealing, or worse than regular stealing, mugging people and hurting them. This will to survive has turned them into something that they'd never in a million years thought they'd be. A bad person. Deep down inside, they really aren't, but survivors don't care about anything but surviving.
Here's the bad part. People see these "bad people" and say things like, "Just throw them all in Jail", or, "These people are a waste of space". I've even heard and read people saying that it would be great if all the junkies would just die. How great that would be for them, they would just throw a party. This is a terrible way to see another human being. Someone who is really hurting, and needs help. We don't understand them, or know how to help them, so we just want them to die? This is what makes me even more sad than anything. This reaction to our fellow human beings. These are someones brother, sister, mother, father, son, or daughter.
These people didn't sit in class in 3rd grade and answer the word 'junkie' to the question "And what do YOU want to be when you grow up?" Yep, that's the same person that wanted to be an astronaut, doctor, vet, or princess. And where we are now, you can take a look at a 3rd grade class, look in those innocent faces, and know at least 3 will be addicts, and at least 3 probably have an addict for a parent.
So, after all that, What is the solution? Good question. I don't know. Big let down, I know. But I'll tell you this. Treatment can't hurt. Methadone has worse withdrawal than painkillers, and I for one, don't think its an answer, but it gets people off the streets, and possibly has saved the lives of the person on it, or the person they would have attacked for money.
I personally lean more toward suboxone with weekly treatments in group and individual therapy. But, I'm biased. That's what got me off of drugs. That's what also got a few of my friends off of drugs once I was so grateful for getting my life back that I just had to pay it forward. So because i'm biased, I'm gonna tell you what i think about suboxone and therapy.
With methadone, you start on a low dose and work your way up (sound familiar?). With suboxone, you start on the highest dose and work your way down. Suboxone's drug name is buprenorphine and naloxone. That's because it is two drugs in one. It comes as a tablet or film that you place under the tounge which is refered to as sublingual (sounds like underground jive talk i know) medicine.
Suboxone works by introducing an opiate (painkiller) and an opiate blocker into your system. When you first start taking it, you feel the opiate. This gives your brain the thing its looking for, so it quits sending out pain signals to your body (its way of punishing you for not getting those pills it wants) and relaxes. After taking suboxone for a bit, the naloxone starts blocking these opiates. Your brain still senses them there, the naloxone has been present the whole time, but it builds up and overpowers the opiates. So now, your not experiencing your physical withdrawals (which some think are the worst part.)
Well Jessica, if Suboxone works that good, why do you still need the therapy? Because, to get to the point of needing help with addiction, you've been on the drug for quite sometime now. You've learned certain behaviors and conduct yourself in ways you don't even realize now. You no longer cope with stress because you can take something for it. You don't have friends anymore, because the real ones can't handle what you've turned into, and the others use drugs, which you can't be around.
Therapy give you the tools needed to deal with the stresses of everyday life, being an addict, coping with what you've done while you were scouting out drugs. They help you deal with the depression and guilt you will feel for doing the things you've done. And sometimes even find a root cause of why you ended up the way you did (that is, if you didn't get a prescription, some people start them socially).
It also gives you a chance to see and speak with other recovering addicts. Some didn't end up as bad as you, and some ended up in a lot worse shape then you ever did. You start to realize that it could have gotten A LOT worse. These people and counselors have valuable things to tell you. Just as you had to learn how to get your pills and get by, you have to learn how to be sober.
One misconception is that being sober is the same as going back to the way it was. WRONG!!! There is no back to the way it was, you are now either a sober addict, or an unsober addict. Sobriety takes work, and it gets easier, so much that you might hardly ever think of it. But the one day you could be channel surfing and see a milli second of intervention, or a second of a movie where someone is using or going through withdrawals, and you know that seeing that scene makes you feel different and stirs up different emotions than some of the others around you. You understand it, you relate to it, and its who you are now.
So without therapy, suboxone (or any other thing i believe) doesn't really work. You have to be willing to put in the work. You've already found yourself in a world of hurt over believing in magic pills. Even if you could do this without help, why should you. When your car breaks, do you say, "I should be able to do this by myself. Lets just take some of this stuff out and have a look."? No. Do you do your own plumbing when your pipes burst? No. (well, except for the mechanics and plumbers out there, in which case when your Tv breaks, do you take it apart and fix it?...don't be a smarty pants!) This is really no different than that. It is a service offered to people who do not specialize in recovery, cause if we did, we'd be better by now.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. And you are not a "worthless junkie". You are a human being, and people you don't even know, haven't even met, care about you. And when your ready, they'll be there. But the thing is, you have to want it, not your family, not your friends, you. And you have to do it for yourself, don't make up a reason to do it, cause if that reason goes away, what's to stop you now. Do it for you, and when your the best you can be, then you can make everything else around you better.
For information about suboxone and treatment you can call these numbers. These are professionals and can help you get the recovery you need. You don't have to be alone.
Hand of hope (606) 393-5926 (These people can help you get a doctor, and they do counseling sessions 5 days a week. They are located in the sky tower)
Counselors clinical cottage (606) 329-0727 (basically the same as above)
If you know of anywhere else, feel free to add the details in the comments section below. You never know, you might save a life with one comment.
Living in the OC (pain killer addiction) Part 1
As it turns out here lately, the random world of Jessica has not been so random lately. I have mostly posted things that can help people. I have used my powers for good. Well, today is no different. I still have more to say that could (hopefully) help people. This blog is a 2 parter because it is going to be a long one, but if one person could benefit from it, or even learn something, I don't care how windy I get.
Last night, an old friend from middle school had caught up with me on facebook (yeah, you know who you are *wink*) and we were telling each other a few things to give the other one a kind of idea where we were in our lives right now. Both of us have a child, and are not doing too bad all in all. Then I said "It's refreshing to hear from someone that far back and find out they're not an addict."
This is were you can place the sound of the record scratching and then awkward silence. A minute or two later she wrote, "Actually, I am an addict. I've been clean for 3yrs now..lol". Yikes! I had made a real faux pas (although, now I understand also why we use lol when we are not laughing, she was letting me know it was cool, she wasn't angry, which is good.) and what I said had come out wrong.
The thing is, I'm also an addict (shocked? You shouldn't be if you know me) with 3yrs sobriety. What a coincidence, that we went to the same school, both got hooked on pills, and both had 3yrs clean. But....the only real coincidence was the we both were clean.
In this area, we have what we like to call an epidemic. In 2008 a study found that of people 12 and over, 6 and a half percent had used pain killers without a prescription(same percentage as Oregon, it's a tie, as the second worse pill problem in the US). Yeah, and I have an igloo in Antarctica for sale. Take that number, and at the very least, multiply it by 2 and a half, and thats with anywhere you go with a statistic on drug use.
Back to my story (then we'll go on). So, after typing that stupid sentence I put out in the air, I tell her that I am also an addict who has three years clean. Which, if I was her, I would have called BS, cause first I've insulted you, and now, I'm just like you. Yeah, I totally would have called me out on lying, but she must have known somehow i was telling the truth, or she was just being polite until the crazy person on the other side shut up for a sec, so she could log off (either way, she was very graceful about it).
Jane told me (we will call her jane so this doesn't get too hard to follow) that she had been in a car accident, and had been ejected from the vehicle and barely made it out with her life. She went through physical therapy, and had many obstacles she overcame along the way. After getting well, she was no longer prescribed the pain medicine she had been taking for quite some time now. She felt horrible, I'm sure (without her telling me) in her mind at the time she probably thought she had some kind of permanent nerve damage. She was probably fine when she took a pill, and she had completed all her therapy, obviously the doctor missed something, Jane needed "pain management".
And there it is. Those two words, pain management, have been the first two words in the beginning of, what turned out to be the hardest struggle in some peoples lives, or worse the damnation and death of others.
Hey Jessica, if pills are so bad, why take them? Well, boys n girls (haha), as it turns out, pills have been the one drug to turn people who would have, in normal circumstances, not ended up on drugs. Bad things happen, and when people get hurt, doctors prescribe pain medicine.
If you know you have a problem then why don't you just stop? That is a good question, and a very uneducated question at the same time. Its hard to understand why people keep throwing their lives, children, money, and possessions away once they realize they have a problem. Most people have never felt a serious withdrawal. At the most, we can relate this feeling to not having coffee for a few days, or to our nicotine dependency if we have one. The easiest way for me to put it is: What ever you are taking that is addictive, what ever it treats, when you stop taking that, that is what it gives you back times 10.
So, if your taking an anti-depressant and stop, your going to be unbelievably depressed. If your taking ADHD medicine and stop, your not going to be able to focus on anything. So imagine this. Your taking a mild to medium painkiller, when you feel pain from the withdrawal from that, you will hurt pretty darn bad. So what will you do, find more, that's what. You know what else? If you can't find a small dose after a while, you'll just take a somewhat bigger dose. Well, well, well, guess what now, you feel HORRIBLE. So eventually, you'll take oxy, and you know who gets oxy? Cancer patients, major surgery patients, and people who are dying. Because if you're dying, you have no time to have to deal with withdrawal. So, if you take a medicine that is primarily given to people dying, or with mind blowing pain, what do you get when you stop taking that? Answer: A real problem.
Imagine being so sick you can't even do daily tasks like taking a shower without unspeakable pain. Now imagine that there is a pill out there, and for 30 dollars, you could feel great and get things done, and not be miserable. Would you buy that pill? Now imagine that you did, and the next day you felt bad again (because the pill is not a cure, but only a treatment), so bad you couldn't cook yourself a meal and minutes felt like hours. You have 30 dollars, but you need things for your house. Which one would you buy? It's easy to say things for your house if your not really feeling what I just described.
It doesn't just stop there though, you would run out of money. Next idea you would have is to sell the things you "don't need". Then to sacrifice the things you do. Then guess what? Surprise! That pill doesn't last all day anymore, it lasts about 8hrs, then later down the road, 4hrs. Now what?
We are wired to survive, and pills actually rewire your brain to need them as much as you need food and water. Your brain believes you are dying without these. And we will do what needs to be done to survive. The thing is, the survivor in us, they aren't graceful, they aren't pretty, and they aren't nice. Those are luxuries that we now "don't need."
This is the end of Part 1. Stay tuned for part 2. Same bat time same bat channel. (maybe in an hour, or in a few days. Depends on what chores I gotta do around the house)
Last night, an old friend from middle school had caught up with me on facebook (yeah, you know who you are *wink*) and we were telling each other a few things to give the other one a kind of idea where we were in our lives right now. Both of us have a child, and are not doing too bad all in all. Then I said "It's refreshing to hear from someone that far back and find out they're not an addict."
This is were you can place the sound of the record scratching and then awkward silence. A minute or two later she wrote, "Actually, I am an addict. I've been clean for 3yrs now..lol". Yikes! I had made a real faux pas (although, now I understand also why we use lol when we are not laughing, she was letting me know it was cool, she wasn't angry, which is good.) and what I said had come out wrong.
The thing is, I'm also an addict (shocked? You shouldn't be if you know me) with 3yrs sobriety. What a coincidence, that we went to the same school, both got hooked on pills, and both had 3yrs clean. But....the only real coincidence was the we both were clean.
In this area, we have what we like to call an epidemic. In 2008 a study found that of people 12 and over, 6 and a half percent had used pain killers without a prescription(same percentage as Oregon, it's a tie, as the second worse pill problem in the US). Yeah, and I have an igloo in Antarctica for sale. Take that number, and at the very least, multiply it by 2 and a half, and thats with anywhere you go with a statistic on drug use.
Back to my story (then we'll go on). So, after typing that stupid sentence I put out in the air, I tell her that I am also an addict who has three years clean. Which, if I was her, I would have called BS, cause first I've insulted you, and now, I'm just like you. Yeah, I totally would have called me out on lying, but she must have known somehow i was telling the truth, or she was just being polite until the crazy person on the other side shut up for a sec, so she could log off (either way, she was very graceful about it).
Jane told me (we will call her jane so this doesn't get too hard to follow) that she had been in a car accident, and had been ejected from the vehicle and barely made it out with her life. She went through physical therapy, and had many obstacles she overcame along the way. After getting well, she was no longer prescribed the pain medicine she had been taking for quite some time now. She felt horrible, I'm sure (without her telling me) in her mind at the time she probably thought she had some kind of permanent nerve damage. She was probably fine when she took a pill, and she had completed all her therapy, obviously the doctor missed something, Jane needed "pain management".
And there it is. Those two words, pain management, have been the first two words in the beginning of, what turned out to be the hardest struggle in some peoples lives, or worse the damnation and death of others.
Hey Jessica, if pills are so bad, why take them? Well, boys n girls (haha), as it turns out, pills have been the one drug to turn people who would have, in normal circumstances, not ended up on drugs. Bad things happen, and when people get hurt, doctors prescribe pain medicine.
If you know you have a problem then why don't you just stop? That is a good question, and a very uneducated question at the same time. Its hard to understand why people keep throwing their lives, children, money, and possessions away once they realize they have a problem. Most people have never felt a serious withdrawal. At the most, we can relate this feeling to not having coffee for a few days, or to our nicotine dependency if we have one. The easiest way for me to put it is: What ever you are taking that is addictive, what ever it treats, when you stop taking that, that is what it gives you back times 10.
So, if your taking an anti-depressant and stop, your going to be unbelievably depressed. If your taking ADHD medicine and stop, your not going to be able to focus on anything. So imagine this. Your taking a mild to medium painkiller, when you feel pain from the withdrawal from that, you will hurt pretty darn bad. So what will you do, find more, that's what. You know what else? If you can't find a small dose after a while, you'll just take a somewhat bigger dose. Well, well, well, guess what now, you feel HORRIBLE. So eventually, you'll take oxy, and you know who gets oxy? Cancer patients, major surgery patients, and people who are dying. Because if you're dying, you have no time to have to deal with withdrawal. So, if you take a medicine that is primarily given to people dying, or with mind blowing pain, what do you get when you stop taking that? Answer: A real problem.
Imagine being so sick you can't even do daily tasks like taking a shower without unspeakable pain. Now imagine that there is a pill out there, and for 30 dollars, you could feel great and get things done, and not be miserable. Would you buy that pill? Now imagine that you did, and the next day you felt bad again (because the pill is not a cure, but only a treatment), so bad you couldn't cook yourself a meal and minutes felt like hours. You have 30 dollars, but you need things for your house. Which one would you buy? It's easy to say things for your house if your not really feeling what I just described.
It doesn't just stop there though, you would run out of money. Next idea you would have is to sell the things you "don't need". Then to sacrifice the things you do. Then guess what? Surprise! That pill doesn't last all day anymore, it lasts about 8hrs, then later down the road, 4hrs. Now what?
We are wired to survive, and pills actually rewire your brain to need them as much as you need food and water. Your brain believes you are dying without these. And we will do what needs to be done to survive. The thing is, the survivor in us, they aren't graceful, they aren't pretty, and they aren't nice. Those are luxuries that we now "don't need."
This is the end of Part 1. Stay tuned for part 2. Same bat time same bat channel. (maybe in an hour, or in a few days. Depends on what chores I gotta do around the house)
Monday, March 28, 2011
Combined Resources (How the system can help you)
After my last post (still patting myself on the back, and boy are my arms tired!) I had someone ask me if I had a car, which I don't, because they wanted a ride to the doctor. They had a Bike, but didn't want to have to pedal in the cold snap we're having, and I don't blame them, burrrr. Anyway, I suggested the city bus. It's cheap, helps the environment, and comes in quiet handy when you have to carry things that wouldn't be practical on a bike, or too tiring on foot.
My friend was like 'That's a great idea' and suggested that i make a post on the community resources in our area so that people could get the things they need, that they might otherwise not know were in place, or have forgotten about. Well...I agree. Even though blogs are open for anyone in the world to read, this one is brand new, and lets face it, only people from Ashland, Ky are reading this now, or anytime in the near future for that matter.
So, I'm gonna try to not be too windy, but I want to list some of the resources in the Ashland area that are available to people with low to no income. Some people think if they have a job that they make too much, but some of these have a higher bar than you might think. As a matter of fact, even if you don't qualify for food stamps, you probably will qualify for most of these assistance programs. And on that note, here we go:
1. Cabinet of Family Resources - 920-2013 (this is where you get SNAP benifits, which is foodstamps, Medicaid, Ktap, and there are other resources there from time to time, they also post seasonal assistance on a cork board to help people find other area assistance.)
2. Social Security Office - 324-0516 (Just the mention of this place can give you a headache, but here you can get a replacement social security card, fill out for SSI or social security retirement. It isn't the easiest thing to get by any means, but if you believe you qualify and you don't try, then you'll never know.)
3. Cares - 324-2949 (This one goes unnoticed a lot. Think of Cares as a hub. The churches in the area that like to help others give money here so that their dollar stretches further. Cares helps with past due utility bills, they have a food pantry, emergency food, and they also give you a slip to go to a near by church to get other types of food that they don't have. This resource could be the difference between going hungry for a week, and being able to keep your family/yourself safe and nourished)
4. River City Harvest - 324-3663 (This place is in the same building as the Cares office, so you can do both at the same time. Farmers from our area, donate fresh produce here and it is available as soon as they do. Usually you will see what they have donated laying out on a table in front of the cares office, free to take. Please do not take more than you need, this helps a lot of children get fresh food they would not ordinarily have.)
5. People helping People - 928-4646 (When you go to Cares for utility assistance, they pledge money to your account. The money does not go in, until the rest of the balance is paid, example: you owe 120.00 and they pledge say 50.00, that money does not go into effect until you pay the other 70.00. People helping people will also pledge money to your account to help out. It might not pay it all, but it really softens the blow.)
6. Salvation Army - 324-5751 , 329-0458 (When people think of this place, they think of the thrift store they have, almost like a year round yard sale. This is only one aspect of this place. When you go into the main office, they can help you with their: food pantry they have on site. They also give vouchers sometimes to local grocery stores, and they give vouchers to their own thrift shop, so if you need clothing or dishes, you can get them free of charge. When my house burned down, they help my family so much. I always donate here)
7. Hillcrest/Bruce mission - 324-5723 (This mission is not only for hillcrest and bruce. That is a big misconception. This place helps out a good portion of the ashland area as well. They donate clothing, can goods, household supplies, and have a low cost dentist come in for people without insurance for cleanings and simple extractions. They also get donations of panera bread on Wednesdays that they give out every week.)
8. Shelter of Hope - 324-6700 (not only a great resource for battered women and their children, this place also will give you dishes like coffee cups and plates. When you get a new place and have no money, these few simple things can seem like an impossible task to get. Not anymore! shelter of hope will give them to you free. They also take donations of toys and furniture if your getting rid of yours. They give them to the battered spouses that live there so they will be comfortable. I donate here frequently as well.)
9. Ashland City Bus - 327-2025 (no big explanation here, we know what the bus is, right? Other than that, it costs 0.75 cents to ride, and can be discounted if you receive disability. They sell passes with a certain number of rides on the card, so you can buy one when you have money, and then need a ride when you don't. you can call them for the times they drive past a bus stop near you. Also you can call and let them know where you'll be when a bus does come through so you don't have to walk to the bus stop if its a little far. Well, i said no big explanation, but turns out I'm a liar.)
Those are the best resources I know for the Ashland area that cover a broad range of people. I could go into other ones that just encompass a few types of people, but then the list would be crazy long, and I don't even know if they read this or not. If you have any questions, or would like to know if there is another that might be more suited to your situation or the situation of a friend, feel free to comment, and I will do my best to find out for you.
These resources are here for you to use them. If you qualify, chances are, you actually need them and have just been toughing it out, or hopefully have a close friend or family member helping you. If you need help, you should go and ask for it, especially if you have others that rely on you for their next meal.
On a side note: A lot of these places are church based. No matter what religion you are, or are not, they will not turn you away. They don't even ask if you do subscribe to any religion. Don't let this stop you from getting the help you need.
My friend was like 'That's a great idea' and suggested that i make a post on the community resources in our area so that people could get the things they need, that they might otherwise not know were in place, or have forgotten about. Well...I agree. Even though blogs are open for anyone in the world to read, this one is brand new, and lets face it, only people from Ashland, Ky are reading this now, or anytime in the near future for that matter.
So, I'm gonna try to not be too windy, but I want to list some of the resources in the Ashland area that are available to people with low to no income. Some people think if they have a job that they make too much, but some of these have a higher bar than you might think. As a matter of fact, even if you don't qualify for food stamps, you probably will qualify for most of these assistance programs. And on that note, here we go:
1. Cabinet of Family Resources - 920-2013 (this is where you get SNAP benifits, which is foodstamps, Medicaid, Ktap, and there are other resources there from time to time, they also post seasonal assistance on a cork board to help people find other area assistance.)
2. Social Security Office - 324-0516 (Just the mention of this place can give you a headache, but here you can get a replacement social security card, fill out for SSI or social security retirement. It isn't the easiest thing to get by any means, but if you believe you qualify and you don't try, then you'll never know.)
3. Cares - 324-2949 (This one goes unnoticed a lot. Think of Cares as a hub. The churches in the area that like to help others give money here so that their dollar stretches further. Cares helps with past due utility bills, they have a food pantry, emergency food, and they also give you a slip to go to a near by church to get other types of food that they don't have. This resource could be the difference between going hungry for a week, and being able to keep your family/yourself safe and nourished)
4. River City Harvest - 324-3663 (This place is in the same building as the Cares office, so you can do both at the same time. Farmers from our area, donate fresh produce here and it is available as soon as they do. Usually you will see what they have donated laying out on a table in front of the cares office, free to take. Please do not take more than you need, this helps a lot of children get fresh food they would not ordinarily have.)
5. People helping People - 928-4646 (When you go to Cares for utility assistance, they pledge money to your account. The money does not go in, until the rest of the balance is paid, example: you owe 120.00 and they pledge say 50.00, that money does not go into effect until you pay the other 70.00. People helping people will also pledge money to your account to help out. It might not pay it all, but it really softens the blow.)
6. Salvation Army - 324-5751 , 329-0458 (When people think of this place, they think of the thrift store they have, almost like a year round yard sale. This is only one aspect of this place. When you go into the main office, they can help you with their: food pantry they have on site. They also give vouchers sometimes to local grocery stores, and they give vouchers to their own thrift shop, so if you need clothing or dishes, you can get them free of charge. When my house burned down, they help my family so much. I always donate here)
7. Hillcrest/Bruce mission - 324-5723 (This mission is not only for hillcrest and bruce. That is a big misconception. This place helps out a good portion of the ashland area as well. They donate clothing, can goods, household supplies, and have a low cost dentist come in for people without insurance for cleanings and simple extractions. They also get donations of panera bread on Wednesdays that they give out every week.)
8. Shelter of Hope - 324-6700 (not only a great resource for battered women and their children, this place also will give you dishes like coffee cups and plates. When you get a new place and have no money, these few simple things can seem like an impossible task to get. Not anymore! shelter of hope will give them to you free. They also take donations of toys and furniture if your getting rid of yours. They give them to the battered spouses that live there so they will be comfortable. I donate here frequently as well.)
9. Ashland City Bus - 327-2025 (no big explanation here, we know what the bus is, right? Other than that, it costs 0.75 cents to ride, and can be discounted if you receive disability. They sell passes with a certain number of rides on the card, so you can buy one when you have money, and then need a ride when you don't. you can call them for the times they drive past a bus stop near you. Also you can call and let them know where you'll be when a bus does come through so you don't have to walk to the bus stop if its a little far. Well, i said no big explanation, but turns out I'm a liar.)
Those are the best resources I know for the Ashland area that cover a broad range of people. I could go into other ones that just encompass a few types of people, but then the list would be crazy long, and I don't even know if they read this or not. If you have any questions, or would like to know if there is another that might be more suited to your situation or the situation of a friend, feel free to comment, and I will do my best to find out for you.
These resources are here for you to use them. If you qualify, chances are, you actually need them and have just been toughing it out, or hopefully have a close friend or family member helping you. If you need help, you should go and ask for it, especially if you have others that rely on you for their next meal.
On a side note: A lot of these places are church based. No matter what religion you are, or are not, they will not turn you away. They don't even ask if you do subscribe to any religion. Don't let this stop you from getting the help you need.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Second Chances (my first post)
Today i was sitting on the porch of my apartment about 45 minutes after getting my son on the bus. Right before I came in, I saw a child about the same age (maybe 6 or 7 years old) walking back to, what i assume was his apartment, and going in.
Then a wonderful (or at least I thought so) idea hit me. What happens if your a parent without a car and your child misses the bus? Well, unless you live pretty close to the school, or you can call someone, your child misses a school day, that's what. That missed school day isn't because they are sick, so now they have one less sick day, and most importantly, they miss a full day of an education that potentially could have been a pivotal day in they're life.
So what can we do about this happening? It's actually so simple, I can't believe no one has thought of it before. Either the school, or the city should use one of their buses to go around to apartments, and main streets, and pick up the students that missed the first bus to school. These kids who would have normally missed a day of school, now have a second chance to get a safe ride. This could keep absences down and maybe even help with keeping grades up, now that they aren't missing important lectures in class.
The students might still be tardy, because the bus would be running after all the other buses were done with their routes, but hey, tardy is still better than absent, right? Right.
After this idea hit me this morning, i knew i just had to get it out and wrote down before i forgot. It really seems like something simple that should already be in place, but sometimes it's the most simple ideas that escapes us. Also, i'm sure an extra bus route costs money for gas and up keep, but it's really worth it. And they could run the bus on just the main roads instead of all the side streets and save a bundle there. Kids could just walk (with their parents if they're young) down to the main road and catch the 'second chances' bus to school.
With the economy the way it is now, we can't afford for our children to lose even one moment of their education. This could be the thing that gives them an extra edge, or maybe even turn that C grade into a B.
And that is the first (of hopefully many) random thought from the world of Jessica.
Then a wonderful (or at least I thought so) idea hit me. What happens if your a parent without a car and your child misses the bus? Well, unless you live pretty close to the school, or you can call someone, your child misses a school day, that's what. That missed school day isn't because they are sick, so now they have one less sick day, and most importantly, they miss a full day of an education that potentially could have been a pivotal day in they're life.
So what can we do about this happening? It's actually so simple, I can't believe no one has thought of it before. Either the school, or the city should use one of their buses to go around to apartments, and main streets, and pick up the students that missed the first bus to school. These kids who would have normally missed a day of school, now have a second chance to get a safe ride. This could keep absences down and maybe even help with keeping grades up, now that they aren't missing important lectures in class.
The students might still be tardy, because the bus would be running after all the other buses were done with their routes, but hey, tardy is still better than absent, right? Right.
After this idea hit me this morning, i knew i just had to get it out and wrote down before i forgot. It really seems like something simple that should already be in place, but sometimes it's the most simple ideas that escapes us. Also, i'm sure an extra bus route costs money for gas and up keep, but it's really worth it. And they could run the bus on just the main roads instead of all the side streets and save a bundle there. Kids could just walk (with their parents if they're young) down to the main road and catch the 'second chances' bus to school.
With the economy the way it is now, we can't afford for our children to lose even one moment of their education. This could be the thing that gives them an extra edge, or maybe even turn that C grade into a B.
And that is the first (of hopefully many) random thought from the world of Jessica.
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