Getting Ahead (a brave kid, and an embarrassing story)

aye, been in one fight. i lost bc it was my first. but i swear, i can fight. try me.

This is a post from a girl I know. She is 12yrs old, and we will call her Roxy, cause she rocks. Now, I am almost 30 (will be in a hair over a month now), and have no blood relation to this young girl. She used to be my neighbor in the apartment complex I live in. I could get into how I try to hang out with the kids here cause i have a kid, or being a good example, but this isn't why I made this post....I'm not the star here. She is.

I read this today, and for a second I felt a little sting. But then, I realized it wasn't a sting I was feeling, it was pride. I felt proud of Roxy. We all eat dirt at least once in our lives, right? She not only felt a ding to her ego, but she posted it on facebook, for the whole world to see. Not to mention that she didn't give up or cower back. She let everyone know that losing did nothing to her.

This was such a small post. 20 words. 12yrs old. I'm here to tell you right now, there is a lot to learn from this little lady. I wanted to brag on her for a minute. After thinking about what i read, I realize this is one of the bravest kids I know. She's really saying, maybe without even realizing it, that she lost this fight, but that you will have to fight her every single time if you want to pick on her. That she's willing to lose over and over if that's what it takes & that she knows that she will NOT lose every time.

She might have lost this one, but in the same statement, she makes it clear that she learned something, maybe a few things. That it wasn't so bad, and that she might not be a mean girl, but she's not a doormat. There is a humbleness in her statement that I respect, there is a confidence that I envy, and there is a strongness that I admire. This girl, my former neighbor, the girl I taught to make different recipes in my kitchen through the spring and summer. A girl who even when she wasn't a teen, had some of the best manners and was a little more quiet than the others that ran through the house. Everyone liked her, she was funny, polite, and very thoughtful. It's hard for me to think of someone picking a fight with her. I had fights picked with me in school, but her?

It's actually kind of weird, the other day, I was talking to someone, and they told me i was easy to get along with. I don't even know why I said this. It's true, but its nothing to be proud of. I'm gonna just put it out there.

Up until the 7th grade, I hadn't made a "friend". This isn't an exageration. The few times that someone got along with me, or came around, it was either to tease me later, or was quickly squashed by the fear that they would be ostricized by the other students, and was considered not worth it. Once I hit 7th grade, I met a new chick that came to our district, and we made fast friends. She was really nice to me, and she was really unique. I didn't know how to make friends...I was nice enough, but I just hadn't had any social experience.

I'm not saying that for any kind of, I don't know, any feelings that make you go "aawwww", or "too bad", or "poor thing". That's not what that little story is about. I don't feel bad for it. I'm proud of myself for being scared and hanging out with her anyway. And I was scared, I had been teased and tricked and had hopes crushed a million times. It could have been the same that time, but I rolled the dice and I was happy i had.

And Roxy, she doesn't even fit the profile I was in.....she is very likeable. But teens are raging balls of hormones so I'm sure some girl out there is mean & wants to look tough in front of some boy. I'm not even sure what the fight was over, or what happened, I just seen this not too long ago. I told myself to hop on here b4 I either a)forgot what I wanted to say b)got side tracked or c) decided that I didn't feel like writing (which as you can see by the dates, tends to happen to me here n there.

I told Roxy "you said you lost because....Nope! You won because you took up for yourself. Because you took your licks, and you didn't get all embarrassed and hide away. You posted it on facebook and told everyone that you lost, but you tried"

To me that was an epic win. I'm not sure she could've won more, in my eyes, even if she'd won the fight. I told her that fighting isn't a winner/loser type of thing. And after all these words....that's kinda what this post was about.

I told her a story about me that proves this win/no win point. There was no clear winner. And that I was scared out of my mind the whole time, but wouldn't have dared to let anyone know that for 1 second!

I didn't even mean to get into a fight that evening. I wasn't angry, and the day had been mediocre at best. I was coming to someone's apt for a reason I don't even remember anymore. I got to the top of the stairs leading down to the building, and at the bottom, a small crowd had formed. It all happened so fast, I hadn't realize that a few people in that crowd were my very friends!

"who's getting a beatdown?" I said to literally no one in particular.

" THAT'S _______(we'll call her jackie)!!!" my friend(we'll call him john) yelled back. John?...Jackie? JOHN!!! JACKIE!!!!

I didn't even think. It was like someone hit me with a lightning bolt. See, Jackie was one of the toughest girls I knew. No one talked back to her, no one wanted to be on her bad side. She had this vibe about her that just made you know things wouldn't end your way. Here she was, at the bottom of the stairs, on the ground, with this...gorilla of a woman on top of her, pummeling her.

Had I took an extra second to think this through, i might not have done what i did next. Before i even knew what i was doing, I was running down the stairs. By the time I got close to the bottom, Godzilla had let go of my friend and reared her ugly head in my direction. I could feel the power springing out of my legs as I dashed at her with everything I had. I was driven, I was determined, I was ready for go time!!!

I ran right into her fist. Yes, you read that right. She didn't so much as punch me, as I punched myself with her gnarled claw. Yep....laugh it up. It happened just like that. Because apparently, that's how I've always rolled.

By the time the stars started clearing from my vision, she had me by either side of my head. I could feel my feet lift off of the ground, and in a true moment of "holy shit!!1" i grabbed her arms so I was not separated from it. I think she might have peppered me with a few more punches before picking me up by my melon, but i really have no idea because i was so dazed and then the sheer surprise of what was now happening to me, was enough not to care.

I took the elevator up to look at this goliath in her eyes. And she looked pissed & pleased at the same time. Right then, in that very moment in time, fear struck me like a freaking lightning bolt from the gods. When fight or flight kicked in, i was hovering off the ground, held by this amazonian. So i did what i imagine any scared as hell person would do. I swung my legs over and got on the side of her. When she let go, I got her in a choke hold and tucked my head down and just squeezed.

After what felt like an eternity later, she went from pummeling me, to tapping my arm with urgency. Everyone knows that's the universal symbol for crying uncle. So I shimmied down after making her nod yes to the question "If I let you go, we're done right?" in the meanest voice i could muster through the sheer terror I was living. Once I let her go, I immediately took a few steps back and other people filed in between us.

My friend that came there with me (who coincidently, had tried to help me the whole time, but was held back by a crowd) helped me into the apartment and i felt like i was going to pass out. Everyone was cheering and saying how I won this epic battle. I thought "did they just see the same fight I was in? or are we living in crazy town?"

I didn't argue, I liked that that scary woman was considered defeated by me. The thing is, I didn't win anything, I got beat like no one had ever beat me. The only reason anyone thought I won anything except an achy body and a neck that wouldn't turn for a week, was that she had given up. I guess that's a win? It doesn't feel like it.

So when I read that post this morning, about losing a fight, I thought "You didn't lose anything girl!". well, that's pretty much it. just felt like rambling for a while. thanks.

With Great Nagging, Comes Great Responsibility (Trying to be better human beings to each other)

Hello everyone! I've been gone awhile, I know, but I have dearly missed you all. I'm ready to jump back in and get this party started. I haven't really posted anything of substance in two years or so, so I'd like to start with something worth saying. I'm not sure I'll always have some great knowledge to drop on you, but I'm gonna try like hell to do just that.

I've been thinking here lately about empathy, sympathy, patience, and understanding. That's a mouthful, right? Right! Not only a mouthful my friend, a mindful. As a matter of fact, these are the things we need to practice to be mindful. People, in general, are self serving. This isn't a bad thing. Even the nicest people are. Hell, I am. You are too. Everything we experience is in our heads, where we live. Sometimes, we get so wrapped up in that, that we forget that we can also "selfishly" enjoy helping others, or stepping out of our comfort zone to learn how another human being feels.

Even when we do things that seem selfless, we still benefit from them, it makes us feel good. Even if it doesn't make us feel good, we learn something from it, so in a sense, it is still an act that is serving our own needs. This is perfectly normal and healthy. There are times that we don't realize this, that is where it isn't necessarily healthy. If we don't actively know we are learning from our fellow human beings, it is easy to forget the lesson down the road.

Empathy and sympathy are both great teachers for us. When someone is going through a tough time (or a great one), if we have experienced it for ourselves we feel empathy toward that person. We can actively put ourselves in their shoes and experience it vicariously through them. We can relate, and with that, we create bonds with other people. When we haven't experienced the same situations or emotions, sometimes we know other people that have and can apply what they went through to that individual. Both empathy and sympathy are very important to have, it makes us more understanding to an individual who might mean a lot to us.

Okay Jessica smarty pants, how in the hell does sympathy help me with my life? Well, Let me tell you! When we have sympathy for another, we grow and learn as a person. Sympathy is also more vocalized, because we haven't been through something (yet) we will offer words of encouragement like "my such and such went through this, and it can be hard to overcome". Also, if we happen to go through a situation that might be similar to a person we have sympathized with, we can apply the emotions, or solutions that they used to get through an especially hard day. Because we were sympathetic to their needs, we our self benefit from what we learn by helping someone.

That was an easy one! If we already know what someone is going through, then how does empathy help me out then, huh? Huh? HUH?! Okay, let me dazzle you once more, my friends. Even though we currently know and can feel what another person is going through, that doesn't mean that we can't learn something from them. Luckily for us, we are all beautifully different. When we go through something, we handle it the best way we know how to, essentially, we manage. By showing empathy, we can learn new ways to handle our problems. Hopefully less stressful ways. Empathy can be an unspoken connection with other, because we feel what they feel, sometimes (not all) we don't even have to say it, they can tell. We learn coping, behavior, even the way we speak, we learn from other people. When we see someone doing anything, we pick up all kinds of things from them. We are constantly learning from each other.

Which brings me to understanding. Being understanding to another person isn't just comprehending what they are going through, it is both the knowledge of their situation, and their emotions. You take that and use it to give advice, or even just listen. A lot of times, someone isn't even looking for you to pull them from the fire, they just need you to listen. When we talk about the things that bother us, or just the things we go through day to day, we work them out as we speak. When we are there for someone who just needs a listener, and we really pay attention, we can see it happening. They put their feelings to words, and as they do it, they start to realize the emotion they are having. We do it as well, we have to understand what we are feeling. If we just feel it, and don't assign it, it can evolve into another emotion we didn't even have in the first place.

A good example of not realizing what your feeling would be this: Say, for instance, someone says/does something that hurts your feelings. You feel surprised and hurt. You are wounded. Now say you have no one to talk to about it, or that you just don't talk to someone about it. Because you aren't working your feelings out in a healthy way, you aren't fully acknowledging them. That hurt you feel, mixed with the surprise of it happening, it's gonna build. Then when it gets good and sore, it's gonna pour out of you like red hot anger, and if not anger, then your going to start to feel depressed over it.

You definitely do not want that. What you do want is to go ahead and experience the hurt feelings you have. We have a full scope of emotions for a reason, because it's healthy for us to feel them. They keep us from feeling worse down the line. If we work through them, let them out, and resolve the problem, then we can move on from them. We can teach others to do the same, which will make us feel good, and it's just the cool thing to do anyway. Feeling hurt, sad, or any emotional pain isn't bad. Pain like this makes us smarter and it builds our tolerances which gives us strength. Best of all, when we go through pain, and have a bad day, when we start having good days again, we truly appreciate them. To know something is really good, means knowing what the bad feels like. If it were good ALL of the time, then we wouldn't interpret it as such. we would take it for granted.

Lastly, we really need patience. There's a reason they say it's a virtue. When things get rocky, we tend to bolt. Yes, yes, yes! We don't like to admit it, but we do it all the time on a smaller scale. In a time where everything is instantaneous, we get used to being pleased all the time. We can reach out to each other more easily, and from great distances now. We are all truly connected. I have already touched on this in another post, so if you haven't read it, please do. The point is, patience makes us strong. We assign words to patient people like sweet, caring, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And hey, these are all true, but you know what else is? That scrambled eggs are delicious? Well, yes, but that's not what I'm getting at. People who are patient, who are understanding, who practice both empathy and sympathy and resilient. They tend to be the most well rounded humans. People respect them, and go out of their way to do things for them, because they are beneficial to have around. They are some of the strongest people we know.

If you really think about it, who was your favorite person. Your Granny? Mother? Father? Papaw? If you think about it, the person who you look up to probably has at least 2 if not all of these traits. The person that when you think about it you try to model yourself after is a person who was understanding with you when you needed it the most. You probably have a love and respect for this person that is unrivaled by most of the shitty people you know now. That's because when you put all of these traits in a blender, what you end up pouring out is compassion and wisdom. Kinda puts it in perspective doesn't it?

And as for some of those shitty people you hang with now, at least the ones that mean well, don't write them off. Is it not possible that they just need a little understanding? Maybe you could lend a little of your patience to them? And don't worry, you'll get plenty out of it too! You'll be a better person for it, you might just learn something about yourself , and maybe you'll earn some of that respect you think you deserve so badly.

Mostly, just try not to be a dick, okay?

Hurricane Sandy's Devastation

As everyone knows, Hurricane Sandy has wrecked New York, New Jersey, and various other east coast states as well as states closer to home. West Virginia was even hit with severe weather. I have posted a widget above, where you can donate to the red cross, to provide relief funds.

Residents of New York, and New Jersey will be without power for over a week. Most residents have fled the state, but many are in shelters. Fema is assisting many states with provisions and volunteers. Both states are considered in a state of emergency. Even President Obama has cancelled his campaign to assist in the tragedy.

Here are some news clips I have found that update you on the status of the ongoing situations.

Associated Press NEW YORK — A huge fire destroyed 80 to 100 houses in a flooded beachfront neighborhood Tuesday, forcing firefighters to undertake daring rescues and injuring three people. More than 190 firefighters contained the blaze but were still putting out some pockets of fire more than nine hours after it erupted. As daylight broke, neighbors walked around aimlessly through their smoke-filled Breezy Point neighborhood, which sits on the Rockaway peninsula jutting into the Atlantic Ocean. Electrical wires dangled within feet of the street. Officials said the fire was reported around 11 p.m. Monday in an area flooded by the superstorm that began sweeping through the city earlier. Firefighters told WABC-TV that the water was chest high on the street, and they had to use a boat to make rescues. They said in one apartment home, about 25 people were trapped in an upstairs unit, and the two-story home next door was ablaze and setting fire to the apartment's roof. Firefighters climbed an awning to get to the trapped people and took them downstairs to a boat in the street. Video footage of the scene showed a hellish swath of tightly packed homes fully engulfed in orange flames as firefighters hauled hoses while sloshing in ankle-high water. Many homes appeared completely flattened by the wind-whipped flames. One firefighter suffered a minor injury and was taken to a hospital. Two civilians suffered minor injuries and were treated at the scene. In September, the same neighborhood was struck by a tornado that hurled debris in the air, knocked out power and startled residents who once thought of twisters as a Midwestern phenomenon.

Here is another Story about the damage done by the hurricane.

NEW YORK – The misery of superstorm Sandy's devastation grew Tuesday as millions along the U.S. East Coast faced life without power or mass transit for days, and huge swaths of New York City remained eerily quiet. At least 33 people were killed, and rescue work continued. The storm that made landfall in New Jersey on Monday evening with hurricane force cut power to at least 7.4 million across the East and put the presidential campaign on hold just one week before Election Day. New York was among the hardest hit, with its financial heart closed for a second day. The storm caused the worst damage in the 108-year history of the city's subway system, and there was no indication of when the largest U.S. transit system would be rolling again. But the full extent of the damage in New Jersey was being revealed as morning arrived. Emergency crews fanned out to rescue hundreds. A hoarse-voiced New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie gave bleak news at a morning news conference: Seaside rail lines washed away. No safe place on the state's barrier islands for him to land. Parts of the coast still under water. "It is beyond anything I thought I'd ever see," he said. "It is a devastating sight right now." The death toll from Sandy in the U.S. included several killed by falling trees. Sandy also killed 69 people in the Caribbean before making its way up the Eastern Seaboard. Airlines canceled more than 12,000 flights. New York City's three major airports remained closed. President Barack Obama declared a major disaster in New York and Long Island, making federal funding available to residents of the area. He suspended campaigning again Tuesday. "This was a devastating storm, maybe the worst that we have ever experienced," New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg said. Trading at the New York Stock Exchange was canceled again Tuesday after the storm sent a nearly 14-foot surge of seawater, a record, coursing over its seawalls and highways and into low-lying streets. The water inundated tunnels, subway stations and the electrical system that powers Wall Street and sent hospital patients and tourists scrambling for safety. Skyscrapers swayed and creaked in winds that partially toppled a crane 74 stories above Midtown. A large tanker ship ran aground on the city's Staten Island. A fire raged in a city neighborhood Tuesday morning near the Atlantic Ocean, with 80 to 100 homes destroyed but no deaths reported. "This will be one for the record books," said John Miksad, senior vice president for electric operations at Consolidated Edison, which had more than 670,000 customers without power in and around New York City. In New Jersey, where the superstorm came ashore, a huge swell of water swept over the small town of Moonachie, and authorities struggled to rescue about 800 people, some of them living in a trailer park. Police and fire officials used boats to try to reach the stranded. "I saw trees not just knocked down but ripped right out of the ground. I watched a tree crush a guy's house like a wet sponge," mobile home park resident Juan Allen said. The massive storm reached well into the Midwest with heavy rain and snow. Chicago officials warned residents to stay away from the Lake Michigan shore as the city prepared for winds of up to 60 mph and waves exceeding 24 feet well into Wednesday. Curiosity turned to concern overnight as New York City residents watched whole neighborhoods disappear into darkness as power was cut. The World Trade Center site was a glowing ghost near the tip of Lower Manhattan. Residents reported seeing no lights but the strobes of emergency vehicles and the glimpses of flashlights in nearby apartments. Lobbies were flooded, cars floated and people started to worry about food. As Hurricane Sandy closed in on the Northeast, it converged with a cold-weather system that turned it into a monstrous hybrid of rain and high winds -- even bringing snow in West Virginia and other mountainous areas inland. Just before it made landfall, forecasters stripped Sandy of hurricane status, but the distinction was purely technical, based on its shape and internal temperature. It still packed hurricane-force winds. While the hurricane's 90 mph winds registered as only a Category 1 on a scale of five, it packed "astoundingly low" barometric pressure, giving it terrific energy to push water inland, said Kerry Emanuel, a professor of meteorology at MIT. "We are looking at the highest storm surges ever recorded" in the Northeast, said Jeff Masters, meteorology director for Weather Underground, a private forecasting service. Tunnels and bridges to Manhattan were shut down, and some flooded. "We have no idea how long it's going to take" to restore the transit system, MTA spokeswoman Marjorie Anders said Tuesday. New York University's Tisch Hospital was forced to evacuate 200 patients after its backup generator failed. NYU Medical Dean Robert Grossman said patients -- among them 20 babies from the neonatal intensive care unit who were on battery-powered respirators -- had to be carried down staircases and to dozens of ambulances waiting to take them to other hospitals. A construction crane atop a $1.5 billion luxury high-rise overlooking Central Park collapsed in high winds and dangled precariously. Thousands of people were ordered to leave several nearby buildings as a precaution. Reggie Thomas emerged Tuesday morning from his job as a maintenance supervisor at a prison near the overflowing Hudson River, a toothbrush in his front pocket, to find his 2011 Honda with its windows down and a foot of water inside. "It's totaled," Thomas said, with a shrug. "You would have needed a boat last night."

If you can spare it, you can donate to red cross to help the millions of people in need. You can also donate blood, or dried goods at many locations. It would be a great help to people that have lost their homes, power, or loved ones. I'm also looking into it now, but I'm sure there is a place that is helping displaced animals, and I'm sure they could use help too.

Brain washing (Wrapping Your Head Around The Dreaded Spring Cleaning)

     Ok guys, I've been standing on my soapbox for a while now and my feet hurt so I'm gonna take a little break. But what will be do in the meantime? Well, I was thinking, and since its spring time, maybe I can give a few cleaning tips. When I clean my apartment, I usually always do it when no one's home because I have a system and people just get in the way (or do it wrong!). So if you hang out, you can be here one minute in a whirl wind of mess from my 6 year old, then come back in a few hours and it's like elves came in and made it all better. So, wanna know my secrets? Sure ya do.

     First things first. You can just make yourself get up and clean, but that sucks. Everyone has that little burst of energy (almost manic) every day or every few days. If you don't jump on the train when it starts, you'll miss it and have to wait for it to come around again, otherwise you'll be doing the dreaded "making yourself do something you don't wanna do" dance. Nobody wants that!

     Also, for me, I can look at a sink full of dishes and a messy living room and will just suck the energy out of me before I start (even with the magic energy that blows through). I never sit and look around to take inventory of what needs to be done over the course of a few hours. It sounds like a bad idea, but if you just walk over to a table and pick up a soda can/empty glass/junk mail and put it where it goes, that can be the jumping point to getting everything done. Then, in the midst of cleaning, you can survey your surroundings.

     I can't clean without music, well, I can, but I'm not gonna! Just like people working out, I can make a playlist that makes you wanna jump outta your skin and do something. Granted, when I was 16, I never thought that I would be sweeping the floor to the lyrics "Burn motherf*cker, burn", but life is funny that way, and it gives me the extra edge I need to keep going. Make a playlist of either upbeat or hardcore music (or both) and play it while you run around the house.

     Here come the numbered tips!
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The "every room except the bathroom and kitchen" tips

1. Start High. NOT THAT KIND OF HIGH, put that down! I mean, start with your tables, on top of the tv, or the headboard of your bed/dressers. If you sweep your floor, then wipe your table, even if you wipe it into your hand, you will just be causing yourself more work, or an unsatisfactory job. So, the bigger the job, the higher your start.

2. Everything's place. Have you ever been cleaning, and you don't know where to put something? By the time you get done, its clean, but still cluttered. What a bummer, right? What I do is take those things and put them on the couch. After I'm done, the couch is a mountain of junk, but then I can solely focus on where each and everything on it will go. Also, I'm usually tired by then, so its nice to sit down and go through it.

3. Your Arsenal. There's nothing like climbing under a table/bed/in the closet, and then realizing you need the spray cleaner/pledge/dustpan, only to have to climb back out and search it down. My solution to this one is, before I mop (which is last), I take the mop bucket and stuff a cleaner for everything, paper towels, rags, dustpan with the little attached hand broom, and a grocery bag or two. I pack it from area to area with me. The grocery bag is for trash that has found its way under things and out of sight, or for a paper towels that are used up from cleaning/blowing my nose.

4.  The Catch all. This isn't so much of a Cleaning tip, as it is a keep it clean tip. But since you still have to clean your Catch All, I can slide it in. This is a "catch all" area, usually by the door, that can make a localized mess (you want this!). It usually attracts shoes, keys, bills, coats, etc. You can also hang your calendar in the Catch all and get extra benefit from it. When you clean your place, your catch all has caught most, and you can just scoop it up. Not to mention, if your anything like me, you won't misplace things as much, and keep more appointments with the help of your catch all and calendar.

5. Tackling the floor. Ok, this is where people get worn out by doing it the hard way. I've seen even the best house cleaners wear themselves out by going about it all wrong. If you walk around and pick up things like this "toy, shoe, piece of clothing, this goes in the trash, this goes here" then you are doing it wrong. Simply, look around, What ever there is more of, that's first. Kid's room have toys everywhere? Then toys first. After that is cleared away, then do clothing. Every pass will make it better, and by doing the big one first, it isn't as discouraging because the next pass always looks easier than what you just did.

6. Swept off your feet. I have tile floors, so mine is a two parter, if you have carpet, than this is even easier. You've started high, wiped the tables/tv/dressers, and moved everything out of the way. Now you can sweep your floor, or vacuum. If your still energized and your couch isn't a thousand pounds from the clutter on in, you can slide it out and sweep behind it first. I always sweep the hardest part first, then it just gets easier.

7. Mopping. I always save mopping for the very last. I even do my dishes first. But I wanted to break this down as a kind of cleaning your living room/bedroom/utility room guide first. So this has to go in here. By wiping off your tables, you've made it smell pretty good in here so far, but mopping will not only clean, but put that finishing scent in your place that makes it just wonderful to be in. Mop your way out of the area and don't come back in until its dry. Stand guard if you must to protect against muddy intruders.

8. Take out that trash. you don't want it stinking up your nice clean place. Sprinkle some baby powder, carpet sprinkle, whatever is handy in the new bag for an extra kick of freshness.
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The Kitchen tips.

1. Jenga!. if you have a sink full, just looking at them can make you want to run screaming. Take the dishes out of the sink and stack them up. Plates together, cups side by side, pots n pans neatly inside one another. Then you can assess the severity of the job, usually its not as bad as it once looked. Fill your sink up with warm water and soap and do one section at a time. I always do silverware and cups first, because they are the most hated, and I like things to get easier as I go. Whatever you hate the most about dishes, just do it first, you'll feel better once that section is out of your way.

2. Wipe it good! Wipe down your counter-tops and stove. I save old scrub sponges that I won't use on the dishes anymore for this. I scrub everything down with hot water to get the hard stuff off. Then I put the sponge away and break out the paper towels and spray cleaner. This way I don't use as much cleaner trying to break up anything stuck on. It saves you money and helps the environment. Win/win

3. Put those dishes up. By now, dishes are probably dry. Put them away so you can enjoy a clutter free kitchen.

4. Sweep and mop. self explanatory

5. Take out the trash.

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The bathroom (cue scary music here)

1. Pick up. Get the laundry outta here. you might also find a few bare toilet paper rolls you can toss. usually the bathroom won't have as much in the way of picking up. Also, take all your shampoo bottles, soaps and various other things lying out and put them in a bucket or on your bathroom rug and slide them to the outside of the bathroom door to deal with later.

2. Your arsenal. Yep, your gonna need it.

3. The spray down. Get your bathroom spray and (after removing bottles, soaps, etc) spray the heck outta that tub, shower, sink, toilet. Open a window before you pass out!

4. Wipe it good! By the time you've sprayed your various sprays. The first thing you sprayed is the first thing you will wipe/scrub. Just work your way through by the way you worked your way in. You'll probably run into a lot of hair in here. Just pluck it from your brandished sword of cleaning and toss it in the trash as you go. You can rinse as well if necessary. Don't forget that bathroom mirror, you might have a hard time seeing yourself through all that toothpaste(we all watch ourselves brush our teeth).

5. Sweep and mop. now that everything is cleared out and done from top to bottom, you've paved your way to easy town, to get this done.

6. Place and replace. Get that giant pile of "so fresh and so clean" and place every item where it belongs. You might need to wipe the bottoms of your bottles in case they have picked up soap scum. This is also a great time to de-fuzz your hairbrushes. They're starting to look like they have a head of hair of their own!

7. The beat down! Take that bathroom rug outside and give it a beating it will never forget.

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The Extra tips and tricks I've picked up

     Put dryer sheets in each drawer of your dresser. It keeps your clothes smelling nice for a long time. If you feel like it, safety pin one to each of your hangers for the clothes in your closet.

     If you use bar soap and have a bunch of little pieces from not finishing the bar, drop them in the back of your toilet. They don't do much, but they do make a nice smell every time you flush (do not overload. Put them the farthest from the little hole inside).


      Take your favorite air freshener or perfume and spray it on your light bulbs. When they heat up they will spread the lovely smell around. (do not spray on a hot bulb! I put it on new bulb or bulbs that haven't been on in a while. If you spray a hot bulb, it will break!)


      Spray lysol or air freshener in your waste baskets under and in the trash bags to help combat odors.


      If you smoke inside (I don't), line the inside of your ashtrays with carpet sprinkle or kitty litter. It helps extinguish them and keeps them from stinking up the place.


      Take a clean rag and spray it with your best cleaning solution or air freshener and wipe your walls and doors with it. You don't have to clean your walls every time you clean, but this will add a pleasant long lasting scent that makes it nice, just as if you did.


      Take a needle and thread and run it through big pieces of potpourri, necklace/bracelet style, and hang it on wall pictures or door knobs. It doesn't look half bad, and smells great.


      After I have used a sponge on dishes for a while, I don't toss it right away. I use it on dishes, then for the counters and stove, then when its not good enough for those, I use it in the bathroom. I usually by multicolor sponges so I know which color each area is on. Saves money, good for the environment. Win/win


      I like to strip the bed of everything, toss some carpet sprinkle on, and jump up there and vacuum it really good. It works wonders, but if someone sees you standing on the bed vacuuming it, you might have some 'splaining to do.


      Sometimes, when you vacuum, your vacuum gives off foul smells from sucking up foul things. Usually, if you use carpet sprinkle, it won't be a problem. If you have a bag-less vacuum you can put a few spoonfuls of laundry detergent in the canister (or bag if it takes one), and the air that it pushes out will now smell wonderful. Also, if you clean the filter out with water every so often, just add some lemon juice in there too. After letting it dry out and putting it back in, the air coming from it will be fresh and citrusy.


      This isn't a cleaning tip but its pretty cool. Know how your mirror fogs up when you shower? Take shaving cream (not gel) like barbasol and spray it on the mirror, take a dry paper towel and smear it around and wipe off (not with any cleaning solution) until clear. Next time you get out, no fog. This works for a couple of days until you need to do it again.


      This one isn't a cleaning tip either. Take your cooking spray and use it on squeaky door hinges. A little spray then open and close the door a few times and listen to the squeak magically go away!


      Got chewing gum on one of your favorite clothing items? No problemo! Just pop it in the freezer, and when you come back the next day or after a few hours, the gum will have frozen solid and can be snapped and cracked off. If its on the floor, just use oil or mayonaise on it, work it in and pull it off. Ice cubes can be used in the same manner as the freezer for things that will not fit.







      Get your spring cleaning done when you're feeling it. The more you make yourself do something you don't wanna do, the more you will hate it and torture yourself every time it comes around. My biggest tool out of all those tips and tricks is still the music. A rockin tune will get me on my feet faster than anything.

     This is Jessica, wishing you many lemon scented days, a clutter free home, and a wonderfully random world.


SC Johnson has some really great smelling products, such as Pledge, Scrubbing bubbles, and glade. They also have a bunch more tips on their website (if those weren't enough for ya)

Protect And Serve (Contraception Education)

     This is kind of related to my post the other day "Playing Poker And Losing More Than Your Money"

     I was reading different news online today and found this article. These are the types of things that sadden me.

http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/51607674-78/slide-state-presentation-contraception.html.csp

You don't have to click on the link cause here is the article, but I wanted you to be able to so you could get it right from the horses ass, I mean mouth.

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School districts told not to use contraception presentation

Two Salt Lake County school districts that had hoped to use a contraception presentation scrapped by state education officials were told Tuesday to back off.

The Utah State Office of Education (USOE) sent a letter to superintendents, charter directors and curriculum directors throughout Utah Tuesday afternoon that said, “We ask that you inform your schools that this draft must not be used.” USOE sent the letter after learning that Granite and Salt Lake City school district review committees — consisting of parents, teachers, district officials and medical professionals — had decided to allow high school teachers to use the slide show in sex education instruction.

USOE developed the slide show to address concerns that some teachers are afraid to teach students about contraception because they worry they’ll be accused of advocating its use — which is against Utah law. The state sent a draft of the slide show to some district health specialists and other groups for comment, but ultimately abandoned the idea after complaints from some lawmakers, activists and state school board members.

The presentation consists of 21 slides that explain different types of contraception, failure rates and side effects. It also describes abstinence as the only 100 percent effective method to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

“When we took a look at it we had complaints that some of it was too detailed. Other reviewers complained it was not detailed enough, so our leadership just made a decision the draft was not doing what we wanted it to do, and it was better left to [districts and charters] to make decisions on what they want to use,” said Brenda Hales, state associate superintendent, who sent the letter Tuesday. “It wasn’t intended to be used in its current form.”

Ron Burnside, a curriculum specialist in Granite who was part of the group that helped develop the slide show, said Granite now likely won’t use it. He said he might try to meet with some of the district’s health professionals to discuss whether they should try to find a different way to help teachers present the information.

He said he thought it was a good presentation.

“In a touchy subject such as this, you have some teachers who aren’t sure what they should and shouldn’t say,” Burnside said. “With this, it goes through it, so they don’t feel uncomfortable in what they can and can’t present.”

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     Now, How could teaching adolescences about contraceptives be a bad thing? First, they are gonna bump uglies no matter what. Second, if they have knowledge and access to protection, we can decrease the staggering numbers of teen pregnancies and STDs. Not only does STDs affect them, but what happens if it's the double whammy? Infected and impregnated? Now you have an infant that has a large chance of being born with a disease. AIDS? You might be old enough to remember your mommy before she passes. And what kind of memory would that be? That would set the stage for the rest of your life.

     These kinds of stories just infuriate me to no end. When I was a teen, I knew about birth control pills and condoms mostly. I passed condoms out to my friends. Most of them didn't even like to ask at first because of the embarrassment felt. And this is a little personal, but one time when I was a young adult and was in a relationship, when it came down to business with him for the first time (not virginity first mind you), he actually unrolled the condom before trying to put it on! It wasn't his fault, and he was soooo embarassed when I corrected him, got another one and had to show him. Needless to say, because of crippling humiliation associated with sex, the first time was a day or two later, after he got over feeling like he'd done something stupid.

     The law needs to do something, NOW! Right fucking NOW! I am getting so sick of watching, reading, and hearing about the fears and ignorance that our older generation is pouring all over us. If the school won't teach your kid, you do it. If you can't handle it, fucking bring em to me. I'll set out some folding chairs and some freaking cookies and have my homie innomen (if he'd be cool with it, and I'm pretty sure he would) set me up a power point and teach everyone. You can do it without embarrassment, disrespect, or crossing any lines of inappropriateness. 

     I know some of you out there in reader land might be like, "damn, calm down" or, "I don't have any kids", or, "I'll teach my kid, the rest is someone else's problem." WRONG! Every potential boyfriend/girlfriend your kid has, has the potential to infect/impregnate them. We can teach them and teach them, but when some other teen who is easy on the eyes, doesn't know anything about anything, and is weird every time your educated teen brings up safe sex comes along, you know there is a 50/50 chance that a poor decision could be made. It might not end up bad, but all that will do is encourage them to mess up more. 

     Teens have self esteem issues as it is, without someone to make them feel uncomfortable for being smart. And yes, they do feel uncomfortable for being smart sometimes. My friend, for example(again), innomen was one of the smartest dudes I knew as a teen. You know what he got for it? A terrible high school experience. After school was done, every time he explained something, even to people who ask the damn question, he would get rolled eyes or exaggerated sighs of boredom. Just to make him feel out of place. It's no damn wonder he was so cynical. Some days, I'd come rolling in and be like 'la la la, what's up dude" and he would sound like the dog on wacky races (razza frazza...). All that for being a curious and outspoken individual. Someone with endless potential, surrounded by people that (metaphorically) stomped him to the ground. Then after all that, they'd say "what's eating him?" ARGHHH!

     Teach your kids something. Teach yourself something. Let someone else teach them. Just make room for them to learn and form their own opinions. Quit vicariously living through them. The best defense you can give your children is knowledge and common sense. If you do, maybe we will all get lucky and they will end up in our government and make some changes that we can all groove to. If we keep churning them out the same way, generation after generation, then we are gonna get the same shit dropped on our heads every time. And the sad thing is, when it does happens, we're gonna be fucking surprised every time and say "I don't understand why everything is so messed up?"

    

Thanks For The Add! (The Importance Of Friendships)

     How many friends do you have? No, not facebook friends, real friends. Think about it. If your answer is more than one or two, you're a lucky son of a...well, you get the point. I, myself, have a handful of people I consider friends. To me, that makes me the luckiest, richest, and happiest person in the world. Do you take your friends for granted? Do you forget about them if you haven't seen them in a few months? A year? Well, you shouldn't.

     What do you consider a 'friend'? To me, all of my friends are my 'best' friends. When I was a kid, I seen sets of two people that were best friends everywhere. I (who was very unpopular, and mostly unliked) wanted that soooo badly. So much in fact, that I was the sucker born every minute. Kids could get me to do just about anything with a few kind words. When puberty (and wild emotions) kicked in, I grew very cynical and mostly stayed away from everyone else. When I did start making friends, real ones, I never understood the one 'best friend' thing. They were all the best to me.

     I meet people I like, not all the time, but anytime someone easy going comes around. But to me, that's not a friend, that's just a cool person I've met, with the potential to be my friend. I've heard the saying that the word love gets tossed around to easily, to me the word friend does too. Don't they mean the same thing? It's a person you plan to spend the rest of your life hanging out with, doing things for, sharing secrets, and sticking your neck out for, if, the opportunity should ever present itself. The only difference I see, is your not romping in the sheets like wild animals, and sometimes, that happens too.

     I have a handful of best friends. <--Just typing that sentence right there, made me smile. If your one of those awesome people I choose to spend the rest of my natural (and unnatural at times) life with, I hope it made you smile as well. I love my friends, and unlike the 'love' we do toss around so carelessly, I know it's real. I can go without seeing one of my friends for years, and when they do pop up, it's like they never left. They can always be greeted with a warm smile, a big hug, and sit at the dinner table and never feel awkward for the time that's passed.

     Earlier when I asked if you take your friends for granted, what I meant was; would you quit seeing your friend if someone asked you to? Would you steal from them, hurt them, make them feel bad, or anything else that would make them feel inadequate around you? If so, then your not a very good friend at all. It would be nice to say that all my friends get along with each other, and we are like one big family, but that's not the case (ah, in a perfect world it would be). Some of them actually despise one another, and can't believe I would choose to spend my time anywhere near their nemesis. But, I don't care, and I would never choose one over the other, EVER, and they would never ask me to (only question my sanity).

     Over half of my friends are dudes, and I've had boyfriends that get jealous of hours logged with my dudely homies. Those guys never lasted long, or were quickly corrected on how to proceed if they wanted to stay. So much so, that as I got older, I would tell a 'romantic interest' ahead of time, that if they couldn't handle seeing me get along so famously with other guys, that maybe I wasn't the right fit for them. 

     I would gladly give my life for anyone of my friends, luckily, I've never had to (hence being able to type this blog), and they've never put me in a situation that called for that kind of extreme measure. At the same time, we all run into trouble every now and again, and do you know who they call? Ghostbusters! Sorry, I couldn't help myself. No, they call me, and anyone else they consider to be a true friend. I have also called any one of them depending on what exactly is going on. And luckily, I have such good friends, that they will drop just about anything they are doing and come running if it's required. My friends have such a great sense of loyalty, and know I feel it the same way for them. It seems that loyalty is hard to come by from anything other than a dog anymore, so when you find someone with a real grasp on what it means, they are a real treasure.

     

     Friends are important to have. We have a real need for them. What makes friends so great, is that they aren't family. Family pretty much has to deal with you. Family, if on the other side, might not have chosen you as their friend, they were just placed there and grew with you, love was pre-installed. Friends don't have to like you. They don't have to hang out with you, or be nice, or do you any favors at all. They chose to be around you. They come into your life and make it better, and they come back because they WANT to. They like you, your ideas, or share common interests with you. Some of them don't even like the same crap you do, but still like you as a person.

     We don't realize how important these connections are sometimes. Maybe we don't even realize that we are feeling love for our friends, because we connect that word to a family feeling, or a sexual one. Some of the most pure love I have ever felt has come from a friend. I can hear about something sad happening to one of my friends, and feel like I want to cry for them. If there in a bad mood, I will act like a complete idiot just to make them smile, and they'd do the same for me. When someone tells me they have this crazy number of friends, I wonder if they really even have one. We set the bar so low on friendships, that they seem like they are just friendly acquaintances we surround ourselves with. To me, that is sad, because I don't know where I'd be, or if I'd even be here at all, if it wasn't for my handful of best friends looking out for me. You know what they say..."keep your friends close, so they can pound the crap outta your enemies", or something like that.

     If any of you guys are reading this, thank you for being my compadre, and putting up with my endless parade of crap and motormouthing. 

P.S. It's not easy being cheesy.

More Than The Right To Remain Silent (human rights)

     Here recently I have been thinking about our human rights, so I asked a few of my friends if, A., they knew how many human rights we had, and B., if they could name any. The answers were about the same across the board. No one knew, or could guess how many human rights there was, and they could pop off anywhere from 5 to 10 of them. Not bad, right? Wrong! These are your rights, you should atleast know all the ones that apply to yourself. So, I want to enlighten you on your human rights, and what they mean to you.

     First, let's talk about what a right is. A right is a freedom of some kind. It is something to which you are entitled. There is a difference in rights and permits. We are permitted to carry concealed weapons. We get a permit, and we can carry them around concealed. We have the right to keep weapons to protect ourselves, and our homes. It is very important to know the difference between what you are permitted to do and what you have the right to do.

     The Human Rights are defined as: The basic rights and freedoms to which all human beings are entitled, often held to include the right to life and liberty, freedom of thought and expression, and equality before the law.


     So Jessica, what does that mean? Glad you asked :) Equality before the law. That's a pretty powerful statement. What that means, is that the law can not take away these rights. That doesn't mean they won't ever try (many examples I could list, but I'm sure you could too). If you don't know your rights, and someone trys to take them away from you, or convince you that you don't have them, what do you think will happen?

     Long before human rights even existed, men and women fought and died for these freedoms. They still do! All over the world people are fighting for basic human rights. Now, doesn't it seem insulting that people that do have them, don't even know them, or care to learn them? DAMN RIGHT! When I was in school, I never once was told about them. I knew about the constitution and the bill of rights, but never heard about human rights until I was an adult. That's just pathetic...and sad.

     After World War II, the leading nations realized they had to create a document to include all human rights. That document, boys and girls, is called the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. It contains the thirty (yep 30 big ones) rights to which all people are entitled. This document was created in 1948 (not that old at all really, the declaration of independence was 1776).

     Ok, a few more details, then I'll sock em to ya. Eleanor Roosevelt led the committee that created this document. The United Nations created international laws to protect human rights (a process that took close to 20 years!). As a result of this, basic laws of many nations today include the rights contained in this declaration.

     And without further ado, here is the big list.
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The Universal Declaration Of Human Rights

1. We are all born free and equal. We are all born free. We all have our own thoughts and ideas. We should all be treated in the same way.

2. Don't discriminate. These rights belong to everybody, whatever our differences.

3. The right to life. We all have the right to life, and to live in freedom and safety.

4. No Slavery. Nobody has any right to make us a slave. We cannot make anyone our slave.

5 No torture. Nobody has any right to hurt us or torture us.

6. You have rights no matter where you go. You are a person just like anyone else!

7. We're all equal before the law. The law is the same for everyone. It must treat us all fairly.

8. Your human rights are protected by the law. We can all ask for the law to help us when we are not treated fairly.

9. No unfair detainment. Nobody has the right to put us in prison without good reason and keep us there, or to send us away from our country.

10. The right to trial. If we are put on trial this should be in public. The people who try us should not let anyone tell them what to do.

11. We're always innocent till proven guilty. Nobody should be blamed for something until it is proven. When people say we did a bad thing, we have the right to show it is not true.

12. The right to privacy. Nobody should try to harm our good name. Nobody has the right to come into our home, open our letters or bother us or our family without a good reason.

13 Freedom to move. We all have the right to go where we want in our own country and to travel as we wish.

14. The right to seek a safe place to live. If we are frightened of being badly treated in our own country, we all have the right to run away to another country to be safe.

15. Right to a nationality. We all have the right to belong to a country.

16 Marriage and family. Every grown-up has the right to marry and have a family if the want to. Men and women have the same rights when they are married, and when they are separated.

(side note, this does not say only men and women get married, just that we all have the same rights whether we are married or not. I believe making same sex marriage illegal is a violation of this right.)

17. The right to your own things. Everyone has the right to own things or share them. Nobody should take our things from us without a good reason.

18. Freedom of thought. We all have the right to believe in what we want to believe, to have a religion, or to change it if we want.

19. Freedom of expression. We all have the right to make up our own minds, to think what we like, to say what we think, and to share our ideas with other people.

20. The right to public assembly. We all have the right to meet our friends and to work together in peace to defend our rights. Nobody can make us join a group if we don't want to.

21. The right to democracy. We all have the right to take part in the government of our country. Every grown-up should be allowed to choose their own leaders.

22. Social Security. We all have the right to affordable housing, medicine, education, and childcare, engoh money to live on and medical help if we are ill or old.

23. Workers' rights. Every grown-up has the right to do a job, to a fair wage for their work, and to join a trade union.

24. The right to play. We all have the right to rest from work and to relax.

25. Food and shelter for all. We all have the right to a good life. Mothers and children, people who are old, unemployed or disabled, and all people have the right to be cared for.

26. The right to education. Education is a right. Primary school should be free. We should learn about the United Nations and how to get along with others. Our parents can choose what we learn when we are young.

27. Copyright. Copyright is a special law that protects one's own artistic creations and writings; others cannot make copies without permission. We all have the right to our own way of life and to enjoy the good things that art, science and learning bring.

28. A free and fair world. There must be a proper order so we can all enjoy rights and freedoms in our own country and all over the world.

29. Responsibility. We have a duty to other people, and we should protect their rights and freedoms.

30. No one can take away your human rights. 

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     After reading these, you might think one of two things (or more). One, some of them are very basic, almost common sense. But without laws to protect them, who's to help you when you've been stripped of them? And Two, lots of these rights are being violated all over the place, even at home. Yep, that is true. When people are uneducated about the rights they are entitled to, thats when they lose something they didn't even know they had. To get it back becomes a struggle, when we could have just been taught about them and had them to begin with.

     Promote human rights. There are actions you can take. You can visit www.youthforhumanrights.org and find out how our youth is learning about these rights. You can start a human rights group online or in person. And most importantly, you can teach others about human rights. Knowledge is contagious, it spreads and grows and evolves. Shouldn't the knowledge and ideas you spread be positive and powerful? One person can make a difference, even if its a small one. And I'll take a small difference for the good over nothing any day.